The slowest Bond film I think. Those bloody Russians.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Funding Mentalism
******************************************************
Economy collapsing? Global warming out of control?
Relax and watch some dirty movies: Strictly Broadband -
the adult video site you can trust.
http://tinyurl.com/3qvo3z
******************************************************
"揑抦 37. I have nothing to say about the new
90210. Who gives a shit.??Sarah Silverman
"I'd love to appear on Strictly Come Dancing myself
although I wouldn't have been able to do it this year
with my swollen boobs and lipo scars." - Kerry Katona
----------------------------------------------------
POPBITCH _ _ _
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 25.09.08 ISSUE 415
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to http://www.popbitch.com
* John McCain's chopper
* Jordan: constipation good, prolapse bad
* Charts: Kings of Leon are still number one
------------------------------------------------------
>> Help Morris! <<
Turn terrorism comedy into movie
We told you that Chris Morris' terror cell
comedy had been rejected by a fearful Channel 4
and BBC. It seems they have a history of
this. Muslim comedian Omar Mazouk was to
present a mockumentary about misguided
suicide bombers for BBC but this was also
nixed. He took the idea to a TV network in
Denmark instead, where it's getting rave reviews.
And putting two fingers up to TV commissioners,
Morris is turning his Jihadi sitcom into a
film. He's got producers at Warpfilm and a
distributor. All he needs now is enough money
to make the film. Which is where we come in.
Popbitch readers donating between 25 and 100
quid to help get the film made will get the
chance to be in it. So get out your cheque book
and burkha and email:
fundingmentalism@warpfilms.com
Chris would not deny or confirm that recruits
who sign up will also get a free al-Qaeda
explosives handbook.
------------------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite autobiography title:
Girls Aloud's Dream That Glitter.
------------------------------------------------------
>> Chateau temporary <<
Maybe Monty likes writing more than vineyards
Chateau Monty is the TV show that has wine writer
Monty Waldin trying to run a vineyard. He can't
have liked it very much. TV folk tell us that
when filming was over, so was Monty's career as
a vineyard owner.
------------------------------------------------------
Natalie, Nicole and Mel All Saints spotted yesterday
walking on Hampstead Heath in the rain. They were
all carrying a small dog.
------------------------------------------------------
>> Bike wars <<
McCain offers Sarah Palin a ride on his chopper
All you have to do is stand for President and
American companies start showering you with
freebies. John McCain was just given a customised
motorbike, by Orange County Choppers. It's
designed to be a tribute to PoWs - the barbed
wire highlights are especially tasteful.
When McCain was presented with the bike he said
"Sarah and I are going to get on that chopper
and ride it straight to Washington!".
Sadly John McCain doesn't have a bike license and
his years as a PoW means he can't lift his arms
high enough to reach the handlebars. Plus the
lack of rear suspension would aggravate his
enlarged prostate. Oh and the bike isn't road
legal either. Nice work, Orange County Choppers.
Bike:
http://www.sturgistravels.com/2004/occ.po4.jpg
Choppers for Obama!
http://tinyurl.com/ObamaBadge
******************************************************
Secretly jealous of Brand Beckham? Don't let them have
all the fun (and all the money). You too have a
personal brand. It can bring you success and money if
you know how. Get help from the UK experts at iWorkshop?
Only 149.99 but popbitch readers get 25 pounds off
until 3rd Oct. Enter code at checkout: popbitch).
http://iworkshop.mowbraybydesign.com ******************************************************
>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week
Which UK TV star's marriage is going through a
rough patch not just because of her work
commitments but because her husband is more
interested in the attentions of other men?
-----------------------------------------------------
Neil Tennant passed his driving test yesterday.
Congratulations.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Constipation good, prolapse bad <<
Jordan's handy definition for celeb privacy
As lawyers desperately scrabble to define what
is or isn't private, Jordan has come up with
her own definition in OK!
Q: You had surgery for a prolapsed womb?
A: I don't want to talk about that because
it's no-one's business.
Next paragraph
Q: What was wrong with your bowels?
A: "... I had to have a catheter fitted and I
was so blocked I couldn't go to the toilet
for 13 days... when I finally did, it took me
three hours to give birth to a pebble."
------------------------------------------------------
Emma Bunton and boyfriend Jade were shopping this
week in Borehamwood Shopping Centre. She was carrying
a small bag from Clarks.
------------------------------------------------------
>> Reporting from Afghanistan <<
What has the army got up its sleevies
The BBC recently did a documentary uncovering
bullying in the army. Obviously to make the
show a journalist had to join the army, go
through training etc. Once his investigation
was complete he needed to leave in order
to complete the expose so he claimed his
girlfriend was pregnant and was forcing him
to leave the army - allowing him to resign
on compassionate grounds.
The army have now worked out this was untrue so
are said to be looking at making the reporter
come back and complete his service, as he is
legally obliged to do so. Bosses think he'd
be perfect for a posting to Afghanistan.
------------------------------------------------------
The Telegraaf newspaper in Holland has a column
from renowned personal trainer, Oswin Beingsick:
------------------------------------------------------
>> Steven Garbo <<
Gerrard just wants to be left alone, kinda
Another celebrity with an odd concept of privacy
is Steven Gerrard. When we suggested Steven was
looking at a new house in Lancashire, his lawyers
were very quick to claim Gerrard's privacy was
being invaded. So it's surprising to see Steven
this week on the front cover of OK! invading his
own privacy with a family photo-shoot at his
"exclusive Portuguese holiday hideaway". As he
recently told footballers' style-bible Icon,
"When I want to get away from football with my
family and there are people following us with
cameras. I feel I deserve my own time with my
family too... it annoys me when people don't
respect my family's privacy."
------------------------------------------------------
Last weekend's best golf news:two-ball pairing in the
Viking Classic in Minnesota: Brian Gay and Dicky Pride.
------------------------------------------------------
>> Hey Big spenders <<
How not to get a suit in London
The credit crunch is even biting in celebrity
world. Sex and the City's Mr Big, Chris Noth
needed a new suit in London recently so got a small
London boutique to come to his Claridges suite
and do a fitting for him. Noth was pleasant,
and the fitting went well. After he left, the
boutique owner asked his 'people" how they
should bill for their work. There was some
awkward shuffling of feet until it dawned on
the shop manager that the actor's staff had
assumed they would get it for free. Cue more
awkwardness until the boutique manager left.
------------------------------------------------------
Nearly all of Sainsbury's smoked salmon is produced
by Ian Anderson from Jethro Tull.
------------------------------------------------------
>>> American thought police <<
Baggage screening is SO 2007
Airport security in America is turning Orwellian.
Homeland Security is testing a new generation of
security screening - one that can read your mind.
Malintent has a series of sensors and imagers that
read your body temperature, heart rate and
respiration for unconscious tells invisible to the
naked eye. Security chiefs say this will help them
find the signals terrorists and criminals may
display in advance of an attack. Those of you
scared of flying, or trying to smuggle a tiny bit
of weed in your wallet, give up now or prepare for
life in Guantanemo. The man behind the new system
says his goal is to "restore a sense of freedom."
------------------------------------------------------
Celebrity hotel names: Cindy Crawford checks in as
Ann Walker. Tyra Banks is Heather Kelly.
------------------------------------------------------
>> Things that make you go hmm <<
Ferret, muppets, anti-social networking
Bored with Facebook? Getting tired of poking,
biting and throwing sheep at your friends? Welcome
to the advent of Anti-Social Networking. You can
even cheat at Scrabble:
http://apps.facebook.com/antisocialnetworking/index.php
Shoes to die for ?check out the hottest partying
heels around:
http://www.osoyou.com/street-style/Party-feet/Party-feet-1.publisha
Everything you ever wanted to know about muppets:
http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Muppet_Wiki
Ferret tarot:
http://taroteca.multiply.com/photos/album/274/Ferret
Killers' new single is absolutely brilliant!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2yoIavS7rE
Spore is a new computer game where you can
design fantastical creatures and make them live.
So, what do the mongs of the internet do with this
amazing creative power? Make phallic animals of
course. Like this dancing penis monster with teeth.
http://spornography.net/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=65
>> Chart Predictions <<
New entries/High climbers Sun 28th September
++ Number One
KINGS OF LEON Sex On Fire
++ Top Ten
FAITH HILL There You'll Be
JENNIFER HUDSON Spotlight
SUGABABES Girls
++ Top Twenty
JAMES MORRISON You Make It Real
KANYE WEST Love Lockdown
++ Top Forty
DEMI LOVATO/JOE JONAS This Is Me
JACK WHITE & ALICIA KEYS Another Way To Die
WHITE LIES Death
>> End Bit <<
Stuff about Popbitch
* Email stories, gossip:
hello@popbitch.com
* Subscribe or unsubscribe here:
http://www.popbitch.com
* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.
* Web hosting by: http://del.co.uk
* Mail by aysabtu
*****************************************************
Thanks to: AM, SW, harry topknot, LM, toofattoskate,
danceswithmustelids, Am, CS, SW, calendergirl,
fman, fatlimey, godhatesshrimp,
*****************************************************
Old Jokes Home:
Q: What goes clip clop clip clop clip clop
clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop
bang bang clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop ?
A: An Amish drive by shooting.
Still Bored:
Sarah Palin's handler let her out long enough
to do a TV interview. Katie Couric doesn't
look impressed:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vbg6hF0nShQ&eurl
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
waeszxdfcgvhj
******************************************************
No Heroics: not just a comedy about superheroes in a
pub but the first ITV show ever to feature Brian
Eno's Needle In The Camel's Eye, from Here Come
The Warm Jets. Thursday (tonight), 10.30pm, ITV2.
http://go.popbit.ch/58
******************************************************
"You talk about countries which get together as gangs
- you know like the G8 summit. Some people might
look at that as a gang, getting together." - Ice Cube
"What's wrong with a miniskirt? You can cause an
accident because some of our people are weak
mentally," - Nsaba Buturo, Uganda's Minister for
Ethics and Integrity.
----------------------------------------------------
POPBITCH _ _ _
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 18.09.08 ISSUE 414
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to http://www.popbitch.com
* Pigs in Space: celebrity flyers
* Double Kevin mayhem!
* Charts: Kings of Leon are still number one
------------------------------------------------------
>> Vote Costner <<>> Lambeth confidential <<>> Don't stop til your nose falls off << href="http://www.popbitch.com/" target="_blank">http://www.popbitch.com/
******************************************************
>> Big Questions <<>> Pigs in space pt 2 <<>> Bobby Rooney <<>> Popbits << href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBBbg7ZjSgE" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBBbg7ZjSgE
2. Plastic Little - Brooklyn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSNQoirNuiA
3. Pnau - Embrace
http://www.myspace.com/pnaupnau
------------------------------------------------------
Peter Andre says he's recording an album off his
own back without the help of a record label. (Which
used to be called "not having a deal".)
------------------------------------------------------
>> Hitting Hamilton <<>> Joseph Jones << "I close my ears, drew back the curtain" etc Blue Peter favourite, turned Strictly Come Dancing granny pin-up, Gethin Jones is taking to the stage. He's joining the cast of "Joseph And His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat in the lead role. Gethin may have a little work to do to convince the rest of the cast he's not just there to bring his TV fans in. His first rehearsal was described by a cast member as "So flat it had canals." ------------------------------------------------------ Kate Middleton's lawyers have written to newspapers protesting at paparazzi behaviour towards her after the charity roller skating event she organised. (Note to Kate, perhaps not inviting press to photograph you in hotpants and leg-warmers might help, love). ------------------------------------------------------ >> Motown mania << href="http://www.pollthepeople.com/motown50" target="_blank">http://www.pollthepeople.com/motown50
------------------------------------------------------
Press release of the week: "Faye Tozer Steps Into The
Shoes Of Eva Cassidy". Faye will be touring Britain
for three months starring as the dead singer.
------------------------------------------------------
>> Fall TV <<>> Things that make you go hmm << href="http://www.bfi.org.uk/lff/1_2_3_4" target="_blank">http://www.bfi.org.uk/lff/1_2_3_4
Much touted band The Script's lead singer
used to be in Mytown. Party all night!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0bbRvm8GJ4
It's almost Peace Day. If anyone other than
al-Qaeda wanted to know where to find Jude Law,
Bryan Adams and David Bentley in the same place
all the info is here. (It's a good cause really)
http://www.peaceoneday.org/
Paul Draper from Mansun likes listening
to Mansun:
http://www.last.fm/user/pauldraper
Candidates bling up dead soldier style: according
to the New Yorker, Barack Obama wears a bracelet given
to him by the mother of a soldier killed in Iraq, as
does John McCain. McCain, however, mentions that his
bracelet belonged to an "Iraq veteran who was killed"
- every time he makes an appearance before a
veteran group.
One for fans of Extreme:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1xRARmrorGU&feature=related
Stock market crashes, bankers suicidal, it
must be the 80s... time to think about
drinking Malibu:
http://popbitch.com
Harrods are running a British original comic book
artwork exhibition from now until the end of October.
Original artboard pages from Watchmen, Tamara Drewe,
Tank Girl, Jackie, Killing Joke, Oor Wullie, V For
Vendetta, etc. (Entrance via Door 5, Lower Ground
Floor. Ask a startled security guard where all the
comics people are, he or she will show you.)
>> Chart Predictions <<>> End Bit << href="http://www.popbitch.com/" target="_blank">http://www.popbitch.com
* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.
* Web hosting by: http://del.co.uk
* Mail by aysabtu
*****************************************************
Thanks to: AM, SW, LM-ES, CS, L, MOB, quercusmarner,
fatlimey, celtiagirl, C, majorbloodnok, F, JK, CM
*****************************************************
Old Philosophers Jokes Home:
A Freudian, a Jungian, and a Lacanian walk into a bar.
The Freudian orders a cigar. The Jungian orders an
Etruscan mask to conceal his face. "You cretins!"
says the Lacanian. He then orders a beer, which,
however, he does not desire.
No Heroics: not just a comedy about superheroes in a
pub but the first ITV show ever to feature Brian
Eno's Needle In The Camel's Eye, from Here Come
The Warm Jets. Thursday (tonight), 10.30pm, ITV2.
http://go.popbit.ch/58
******************************************************
"You talk about countries which get together as gangs
- you know like the G8 summit. Some people might
look at that as a gang, getting together." - Ice Cube
"What's wrong with a miniskirt? You can cause an
accident because some of our people are weak
mentally," - Nsaba Buturo, Uganda's Minister for
Ethics and Integrity.
----------------------------------------------------
POPBITCH _ _ _
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 18.09.08 ISSUE 414
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to http://www.popbitch.com
* Pigs in Space: celebrity flyers
* Double Kevin mayhem!
* Charts: Kings of Leon are still number one
------------------------------------------------------
>> Vote Costner <<>> Lambeth confidential <<>> Don't stop til your nose falls off << href="http://www.popbitch.com/" target="_blank">http://www.popbitch.com/
******************************************************
>> Big Questions <<>> Pigs in space pt 2 <<>> Bobby Rooney <<>> Popbits << href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBBbg7ZjSgE" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBBbg7ZjSgE
2. Plastic Little - Brooklyn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSNQoirNuiA
3. Pnau - Embrace
http://www.myspace.com/pnaupnau
------------------------------------------------------
Peter Andre says he's recording an album off his
own back without the help of a record label. (Which
used to be called "not having a deal".)
------------------------------------------------------
>> Hitting Hamilton <<>> Joseph Jones << "I close my ears, drew back the curtain" etc Blue Peter favourite, turned Strictly Come Dancing granny pin-up, Gethin Jones is taking to the stage. He's joining the cast of "Joseph And His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat in the lead role. Gethin may have a little work to do to convince the rest of the cast he's not just there to bring his TV fans in. His first rehearsal was described by a cast member as "So flat it had canals." ------------------------------------------------------ Kate Middleton's lawyers have written to newspapers protesting at paparazzi behaviour towards her after the charity roller skating event she organised. (Note to Kate, perhaps not inviting press to photograph you in hotpants and leg-warmers might help, love). ------------------------------------------------------ >> Motown mania << href="http://www.pollthepeople.com/motown50" target="_blank">http://www.pollthepeople.com/motown50
------------------------------------------------------
Press release of the week: "Faye Tozer Steps Into The
Shoes Of Eva Cassidy". Faye will be touring Britain
for three months starring as the dead singer.
------------------------------------------------------
>> Fall TV <<>> Things that make you go hmm << href="http://www.bfi.org.uk/lff/1_2_3_4" target="_blank">http://www.bfi.org.uk/lff/1_2_3_4
Much touted band The Script's lead singer
used to be in Mytown. Party all night!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0bbRvm8GJ4
It's almost Peace Day. If anyone other than
al-Qaeda wanted to know where to find Jude Law,
Bryan Adams and David Bentley in the same place
all the info is here. (It's a good cause really)
http://www.peaceoneday.org/
Paul Draper from Mansun likes listening
to Mansun:
http://www.last.fm/user/pauldraper
Candidates bling up dead soldier style: according
to the New Yorker, Barack Obama wears a bracelet given
to him by the mother of a soldier killed in Iraq, as
does John McCain. McCain, however, mentions that his
bracelet belonged to an "Iraq veteran who was killed"
- every time he makes an appearance before a
veteran group.
One for fans of Extreme:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1xRARmrorGU&feature=related
Stock market crashes, bankers suicidal, it
must be the 80s... time to think about
drinking Malibu:
http://popbitch.com
Harrods are running a British original comic book
artwork exhibition from now until the end of October.
Original artboard pages from Watchmen, Tamara Drewe,
Tank Girl, Jackie, Killing Joke, Oor Wullie, V For
Vendetta, etc. (Entrance via Door 5, Lower Ground
Floor. Ask a startled security guard where all the
comics people are, he or she will show you.)
>> Chart Predictions <<>> End Bit << href="http://www.popbitch.com/" target="_blank">http://www.popbitch.com
* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.
* Web hosting by: http://del.co.uk
* Mail by aysabtu
*****************************************************
Thanks to: AM, SW, LM-ES, CS, L, MOB, quercusmarner,
fatlimey, celtiagirl, C, majorbloodnok, F, JK, CM
*****************************************************
Old Philosophers Jokes Home:
A Freudian, a Jungian, and a Lacanian walk into a bar.
The Freudian orders a cigar. The Jungian orders an
Etruscan mask to conceal his face. "You cretins!"
says the Lacanian. He then orders a beer, which,
however, he does not desire.
dope sheet action
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| ||||||||||||||||||||||
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| ||||||||||||||||||||||
| | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| In Memory Of Norman Whitfield, Rick Wright & David Foster Wallace | |
| | |
| Thinking of a film course? Get the Raindance Course Catalogue | | ||
| email catalogue@raindance.co.uk | |||
| Forward to a friend | I | ||
| Help spread the Raindance word by clicking on the Forward email button below. | |||
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
RainFest
| |||||||||||
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| |||||||||||
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Bad Disney Movie
“Equality is not in being great. Great black people
have always been compensated. The true equality is
the equality to suck like a white man” - Chris Rock
“I wish my parents had spent more time worrying about
my education than me being a star.” - Shania Twain.
----------------------------------------------------
POPBITCH _ _ _
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 11.09.08 ISSUE 413
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to http://www.popbitch.com
* God hates UK & Ireland, apparently
* Chris Morris: New TV idea bombs
* Charts: Kings of Leon are number one
------------------------------------------------------
>> RIP VMAs <<
MTV make mockery of world
Poor old Britney. Once again used by outside
interests and corporations. Men, mum, record
label, paps - they've all used Brit to make
cash with no regard to her mental health. After
years at the top of pop and some of the greatest
pop songs of the last decade she couldn't get
arrested at MTV awards ceremonies. Now,
as US pop looks, for once, so second rate
that it can't break out beyond tween circles,
Viacom uses the poor, fragile, obviously over-
medicated ex-pop star for publicity and news.
One of the least impressive, least bought records
suddenly make her a star. Yeah right. Nothing
should be able to withstand this amount of
cynicism. Death to the Video Music Awards!
Russell Brand tried to smash the mediocrity, at least.
Enjoy the online comments, many more like this one:
"Russell WHO? I didn't realise this show was an Osama
(sic) campaign rally. Imagine if Cedric the Entertainer
came to London and did a bit about Margaret
Thatcher and Alzheimers." Nick, Austin TX, USA
http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?id=1594254&vid=272743
------------------------------------------------------
Russell Brand has/had a black and white cat
called Morrissey.
------------------------------------------------------
>> Brass neck <<
BBC say Airline Plot good, Morris bad?
Chris Morris. Role model for news and comedy
shows on TV. He has a brilliant new show idea.
The Brass Eye provocateur has written a comedy
about a Jihadi wannabe suicide bomber cell
in the North of England. It's funny and topical.
The perfect TV show? Well, maybe to you and me.
To the BBC and C4, the channels we hear he
offered it to, it's not. They've said no to it.
Possibly too scared at the subject content?
Did you see the recent "Airline Plot" terror trial?
The jury didn't convict but on the same day, the
BBC thought it was appropriate to use their news
programmes to attack that jury, and put out a
Panorama show called "The Airline Plot" -
when a jury had decided that no such plot existed.
And Morris can't get his show commissioned!
-----------------------------------------------------
A DRC Government minister has ordered a Kinshasa jail
to release a dozen goats. They were to appear in court,
charged with being sold illegally by the roadside.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> BBC: arse from elbow? <<
Can you teach a dog New Tricks
The BBC has a series called New Tricks which is
incredibly successful It stars popular but
uncool actors James Bolam, Amanda Redman and
Dennis Waterman as detectives. It's proved
a massive hit with viewers. All good? You'd
think. Except BBC suits HATE it. And its
success. BBC Drama has targets, focus group
works and demographics to hit and this
doesn't. Cue soul searching, and bitter
recriminations among executives who don't
think this should be BBC output.
-----------------------------------------------------
Best new film to look forward to: JCVD. The story
of an actor called Jean-Claude Van Damme. Starring
an actor called Jean-Claude Van Damme.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Horsing around <<
You couldn't make it up
The Bobbi Brown concession at Selfridges
has a lot of wealthy or famous customers.
Recently a wealthy Arab sheik turned up to
buy make up. He wanted it for... his white
stallion. He gave a photo of the horse to
staff and asked them what he needed to
make-up the horse to look beautiful. He
walked off with a haul including brushes,
eye shadows, blushers, gel eyeliner, and
make up remover - costing more than three grand.
-----------------------------------------------------
Webbed feet, like Rachel Stevens and, it appears,
dozens of Popbitch readers have, apparently are a
sign that your ancestors came from Venice.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Drop the pilot <<
They know everything about everyone
One of the best sites now is the Professional
pilots Rumour Network. Here's the latest
celebrities-on-planes news
"Cilla Black - she should be shot"
"You don't talk to Ms Black. Ms Black
will talk to you. Ms Black only sits in 1".
"Michael Winner. Words fail me at how
important he thinks he is".
"Jodie Kidd - she is Michael Winner in drag".
"Friend works on check-in and has witnessed
Madonna throwing her toys out twice - once over
not being able to sit in 1A on Concorde and another
time over not being allowed her excess luggage free.
"Rachel Stevens - cried because we wouldn't
upgrade her"
More next week...
-----------------------------------------------------
An anagram of Mercury Music Prize winner "Elbow's
Guy Garvey" - Vaguely Web Orgy.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week
Which Brit tabloid hacks covering
Gary Glitter recently has a particularly
strong connection with the story? He lives
in Bangkok and enjoys hanging out in the
under-age bars in the city.
(Ancient jokes home: What's the difference
between Gary Glitter and a greyhound? The
greyhound waits for the hare.)
-----------------------------------------------------
One of Britain's professors running the Large
Hadron Collider is the ex-keyboard player
of D:Ream, Professor Brian Cox.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Fan love <<
Publicists love Leona?
Every week we get thousands of emails from
readers. Sometimes PR companies try to smuggle
stories in. Which do you think this is from
- PR or genuine fan?
"I here from a PA at a big publishing company
that there is a bidding war in progress for the
auction of the first official Leona Lewis book
to be published in 2009 ...... Sound exiting for
her global fans and I am one...
I am sure it will be great. T"
-----------------------------------------------------
Roger Fisher from Heart has pledged he'll give the
royalties earned from his song Barracuda being played
for Republicans straight to the Obama campaign.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> God hates the UK <<
And Ireland, apparently
"Have we told you lately that God hates the UK?"
The lovely Phelps family of Westboro Baptist
Church, aka the God Hates Fags gang, have a
new target: the UK.
Apparently we're being punished for our "fag
enabling ways". They blame: The Church of
England, "Enough said about that filthy false
religion". And the Government, "Its head is
the Sovereign, Queen Elizabeth, II. That’s
right - the exact same Queen Elizabeth, II,
who is the head of the Church of England."
No shit, Sherlock.
And God's punishment: London tornado in 2006
(6 injured), the 2003 European heatwave "which
included the U.K" and last but not least,
the Black Plague (1666, when sodomy was very
illegal).
Next week: "God hates Ireland, Land of
the Sodomite Damned"
More:
http://tinyurl.com/46tqvy
-----------------------------------------------------
JS writes: "David Walliams was in Wagamama Dublin.
Very unassuming and has lost weight. IDNSH noodles."
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Horse play <<
Nagging the best man
Australian weddings can be weird things. A
stag night in Sydney recently went so wrong it
went to court. Everything was going well, the
stripper was popular, until the best man was
called upon to do his bit. He ended up on all
fours, with the stripper on top of him, brandishing
a dildo. The, apparently conservative best man
is said to have told the stripper, "don't put
it in". "Moments later the best man squinted
and got up quickly, calling the stripper an
idiot and telling her to leave", the court heard.
"I feel that my manhood has dropped a bit," he
told police in his statement.
And the name of the stripper who ended up
"riding him like a horse"? Linda Naggs.
-----------------------------------------------------
The three Jonas Brothers have a secret handshake.
One of them is diabetic.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Love wars <<
Bristol hits the baby news again
France's Minister of Justice, Rachida Dati,
has announced she is pregnant, but isn't
going to say who the father is. Spanish media
has started to report that one celebrity is
denying he is the father. Ex-President Jose
Maria Aznar. Apparently the two have been
friends for a while, and were spotted
recently partying at Paris' Bristol hotel
with the Sarkozys and Julio Iglesias.
Aznar, you may remember, made his name
on his Islamaphobia. Dati is half Morrocan
and half Algerian.
-----------------------------------------------------
Anon writes: "Just seen your story on Carole
Cadwallader. She was sued once by a celebrity Brazilian
waxer and landed the Observer with a ฃ12k damages bill
for a three paragraph article. Not the brightest...?"
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Sin City <<
Leather nights of Berlin
Last weekend was the Folsom Street Fair fetish
event in Berlin. The main party, PiG, was held
at a huge power station in Rummelsburg, East
Berlin. There were more than 3000 men in fetish
gear. Including George Michael. Nowadays gay
pop stars' dream is a West End Show. At
least George still shows them how it's
supposed to be done.
George has, rightly, been named as one of
Britain's top gays by Godhatesfags.com. Well
they call it "Poster Children for Sin" but we
prefer to accentuate the positives. Making up
the top five are Sir Elton John, Nicholas
Boles, Sir In McKellen and Boy George.
-----------------------------------------------------
Jenna Dewan, the girl who Justin Timberlake left
Britney for, is getting married to Channing Tatum, who
was brilliant in A Guide To Recognising Your Saints.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Techdance <<
Ashton Kutcher gets on the web
Techcrunch 50 is, apparently, the Sundance of the
Tech Industry. It took place this week in San
Francisco, and Ashton Kutcher went along to launch
his new website. How 2001 of him! Our spy said:
* Demi Moore spotted wandering around "looking
shiny and expressionless" And she nearly broke
someone's nose trying out a Wii style golf game
on an iPhone.
* Ashton Kutcher "seemed to have B.O."
* Samantha Ronson DJd the Facebook afterparty:
"She did actually mix the records herself
(unlike Geldof, Lawler etc) but she wasn't very
good at it."
* Jack Johnson played the iPod press conference.
"He was rather good."
* Steve Jobs not dead, looks better than he did.
* Steve Wozniak is fat, but good-natured and
posed for photos with awestruck geeks.
Kutcher's site:
http://www.blahgirls.com
-----------------------------------------------------
Richard Gere's middle name is Tiffany. Billie
Piper's middle name is Paul.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Things that make you go hmm <<
Palin porn, dog on wheels, Polish posters
"It's like a really bad Disney movie":
Matt Damon on politics. Interested in dinosaurs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anxkrm9uEJk
Super-cool film posters:
http://tinyurl.com/54wkh8
Kevin Godley has a dog on wheels.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5KwNUAO5ao
James Whale has a great new TV job:
http://www.bid.tv/presenter_james_whale.htm
Sarah Palin porn-a-like:
http://www.xvideos.com/video48460/hot_teacher_teaches_teens_how_to_fuck
GOLD - Like a mini-Latitude or Bestival but with
no mud. Booker Prize authors, 5-star Edinburgh
comedy, Luke Wright's Poetry Parlour, Martin
Creed's band, Gay Bingo, Heartbreak etc. 1pm -2am,
Saturday 27th September, Shoreditch Town Hall
http://www.gold08.co.uk
>> Chart Predictions <<
New entries/High climbers Sun 14th September
++ Number One
KINGS OF LEON Sex On Fire
++ Top Ten
CLIFF RICHARD Thank You For A Lifetime
++ Top Twenty
IGLU & HARTLY In This City
++ Top Forty
FLOBOTS Handlebars
CANCER Just Stand Up
MCFLY Lies
BASSHUNTER Angel In The Night
QUEEN & PAUL ROGERS C-LEBRITY
SAM SPARRO Black & Gold
FLO RIDA ft WILL I AM In The Ayer
MIA Paper Planes
ELBOW One Day Like This
>> End Bit <<
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*****************************************************
Thanks to: AM, SW, LM-ES, CS, xxx, SW, AP, R,
deep_stoat, abominablehoman, opus, Plamen,
party_b, patorubio, el_presidente
*****************************************************
Old Jokes Home:
A deaf old man goes for a checkup to the doctors
with his wife.
Doctor, slowly: "Mr Roberts, I need a urine sample,
a faeces sample and a sperm sample please".
"What did he say dear?" says old Mr Roberts.
Mrs Roberts: "He says he needs your underpants".
Still Bored:
9/11 - seven years on:
http://www.icanhas911.com/2007/09/11/fukkin-ur-veringz/
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