Thursday, January 31, 2008


Here's another we've done.

Please sure to join Movie Mogul Fund and vote.

This one is good. How about voting for this one ?

Vote Banana

Here is one of three viral videos we shot, directed and edited in a matter of moments.

The virals are for a challenge from to create promotional videos to spread the Movie Mogul Fund concept around the world wide web.
There are sixteen films to vote for, but why not vote for this one, or
maybe the ones involving masks...? I dunno.

You must be a member to be able to vote. It's easy.
Go here.

Beadle's Out

America's Next Top Model is back next week. One of
the contestants has Asperger's Syndrome (like in The
Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time). It's
going to be interesting: Starts Monday, 9pm, LIVING.

“I close my eyes while driving and just sing along.
I always open them again in time. - Tyra Banks
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 31.01.08 ISSUE 383
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to

* RIP: Beadle and the nearly-Mrs Liberace
* Brazilian footballers - same as Brits
* Charts: Basshunter is still number one

>> He shoots, he scores <<
What the girls of Manchester are missing

Sven-Goran Eriksson has been trying to sign
Brazilian striker Wagner Love for Man City.
And now we can see why - he's a kindred
spirit. Here's Wagner enjoying himself with
porn star Pamela Butt, famous for the movie
Pleasure Pissings. The video suggests that
the less-energetic fella is Real Madrid's
Robinho, but it's hard for the viewer to tell.

Watch (NSFW)

FYI: Pamela stars in films for a company called
Brasileirinhas, who make gonzo porn, focusing on
anal. And also Mr Dog, which does bestiality porn.

Ali “Mrs Bono” Hewson's ringtone is
Crazy by Gnarls Barkley.

>> White City <<
Same as it ever was at top of BBC

BBC in-house magazine Ariel had a wall chart
this week of the most important people at BBC.
Of the 91 people pictured, only two are not
white. There are no senior black employees
pictured, and only two Asian. And one of
them, Group Finance Director Zarin Patel,
we're told by a disgruntled BBC employee,
“has had a cartoon done of her making her
look like a cross between Madhur Jaffrey
and the mother off the Kumars at no.42”.
In the middle of the wall chart, like the sun,
or God, is a cartoon Mark Thompson “looking
like a bad MC in a northern working men's club
wearing a pink suit.” Classy.

The only word in the English language with three
consecutive double letters is bookkeeper.

>> Celebrity gym watch international <<
The real news about Kenya's politicians

Our correspondent from Nairobi tells us
that Raila Odinga, opposition leader and
the likely real winner of recent elections,
is a regular gym user. He prefers the
treadmill, but “runs weirdly”. He's not
as big as he looks on TV too - quite fit.
“Sadly IDNSHC.”

1997... Princess Diana died, we were in love with
Tony Blair and Denise Van Outen joined Johnny Vaughan
on The Big Breakfast. Well, they're back together
next Monday on Capital 95.8 at 6a.m.

>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week

Which magazine at the end of last yeat
dropped a “Heath Ledger on drugs” story,
when the journalist let it slip that not
only did he join in the gak-fest, but
that was the one to call up the dealer?

One footballer might think he's through
the worst of his tabloid ordeal but
a News of the World insider claims there
are a further eight kiss & tells ready.

Courtney Love is telling friends she is just about
to record a track with Adele.

>> Don't stop neighing <<
Say sorry to a star through popbitch

Red Rum writes:
“I need to apologise to a celebrity. Some
years ago i was working on a celeb magazine and
interviewed Jo O'Meara about
the rescued horses she kept. Being a thoughtful
chap I stopped off and picked up some carrots
for the nags. During the afternoon we shot Jo
and a Shetland pony in the caravan she kept
in the paddock. While we were trying to push
the pony through the door of the caravan I
looked up to see one of Jo's favourite horses
in the field outside scoffing not just the carrots
but the the carrier bag they came in. The horse
became increasingly lethargic and developed
a cough. I left swiftly.

“Sorry Jo, hope the horse was ok.”

Do you want to say sorry to a star?

Jon S Club spotted near Sunset Strip club, Dean St.
“He looks better - a few pounds heavier - like his
body is now the right size for his head.

>> Brando the Demon Slayer <<
The spooky spirits surrounding Christian

The LA county coroner has opened an investigation
into the death of Marlon Brando's son Christian.
An initial autopsy was unable to find the
cause of death. Maybe they should be looking
in the ghost realm instead. Christian
shot and killed his sister Cheyenne's boyfriend
in 1990. Then Cheyenne committed suicide. The
Brandos were convinced that Cheyenne's son
was being haunted by the ghost of his dead
father, Dag Drollet, so an exorcism was performed
on little Tuki, on the spot where Christian
killed Dag. The ritual was carried out by Marlon
Brando's common-law wife Tarita, who was
“dressed in robes and said prayers from an
ancient book," claimed an onlooker. "Holy
water was sprinkled on Tuki and around the
room to rid the place of evil spirits."

But perhaps the ghost had turned his
attention elsewhere...

FYI: Tuki Brando now:,,5626195,00.jpg

If you use binary, you can count up to 31 with the
fingers of one hand.

>> Animal crackers <<
Now there is Prozac for all

Spring is just around the corner. Polar bears
will be starting to wake up and begin their
great migration in search of food. Except in
zoos. The polar bears have the same natural
instinct but nowhere to go. Edinburgh Zoo
has been giving Prozac to its bear, Mercedes,
to help her cope.

FYI: Parrots, dogs and cats are also regularly
given Prozac, but it's deadly for pet spiders.

FYI2: More bear news: scientists in China may use a
police dog to teach pandas to fight after the first
artificially bred panda released into the wild was
apparently killed after a battle with other pandas.

RIP Margaret Truman Daniel, daughter of President
Harry Truman. Margaret was engaged to Liberace for
a couple of years.

>> Flying the flag <<
Mr Bean and his colouring pens

Gordon Brown often likes to use his time on
flights to get stuck into newspapers. We're
told by cabin crew that he goes through
the stories with a felt-tip pen, circling
and crossing-out news items that take his
fancy. When he's finished with each one he
scrunches them up into a ball. He has even
been seen taking the paper into the toilet
with him to carry on reading.

Andy Bell from Erasure in Palma airport, “wandering
around duty-free with a friend. They stopped to
giggle at the penis-shaped lollipops on sale”.

>> Three's a crowd <<
The problems of user-generated TV

As BBC3 is trying to turn itself into a cross-
platform interactive user-generated web-TV
thingy, it's interesting to see that this week
user-generated TV station Sumo got itself in
all sorts of bother with Ofcom. They broadcast
mobile phone footage of an adult scaring a
small child until it was “clearly extremely
distressed and started screaming”.

BBC3 might like to reconsider whether it wants
to go down the same sort of road. Especially
now they've persuaded us to all get HD TVs
do they really think we want to see some
bloke's mobile phone footage on them?

He wants more sex. Echo Beach producer Jonathan Pope
wants to know if your face fits the bill. Find out:

>> Things that make you go hmm <<
Mexican pop, scary clown, dyke plumber

Win an iPHONE: Tiger Beer are giving us the
chance to join in with an ancient Chinese New
Year tradition. Make a wish, throw an orange
and bag yourself an iPHONE. (Sadly we haven't
got further than the lowest branch yet)

Seattle has a rad dyke plumber:

Ever had clown nightmares? You will now:

Bouncy, happy Mexican pop from Belanova:

Console yourself with the thought that
being drunk and fat makes you happy:

How to make money this weekend:
Superbowl XLII. All you need here:

>> Chart Predictions <<
New entries/High climbers Sun 27th Jan

++ Number One
BASSHUNTER Now You're Gone

++ Top Ten
ONE NIGHT ONLY Just For Tonight
ELLIOT MINOR Just Figuring Out

++ Top Twenty
HOT CHIP Ready For The Floor

>> End Bit <<
Stuff about Popbitch

* Email stories, gossip:

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* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.

* Web hosting by:

* Mail by aysabtu

Thanks to: AM, SW, WB, party_b, NS, AM, red rum, LT
sweetcorn, CS, AB, roger_mycock, pauly, RH,
whitemaninhammersmithpalais, HL, BH, captain claret

Old Beadle Jokes Home:
Jeremy Beadle has an unusually small cock.
But on the other hand, it's quite big.

Jeremy Beadle was going to get a minutes silence
at all the Premier League games this weekend but
his family asked for a minutes applause instead.
They said he would have appreciated a big hand.

Still Bored:
In case you haven't seen it, Sean Young
telling Julian Schnabel what everyone
else was thinking:

Wednesday, January 30, 2008


One for the ladies.


Classic. You must see this.

Two days ...

Make 2008 the year you do it!

Raindance presents:
London Saturday/Sunday 23/24 June

What You Will Learn
Why should you take this class?
Day 1 Outline
Article Headline
Quick Links

About Elliot Grove
Funny Nacho Libre Pic
Elliot Grove, founder of the Raindance Film Festival has produced three features including The Living And The Dead, over 150 shorts, and has four features in pre-production. He has written many scripts, and 2 books on filmmaking: Raindance Writers Lab (Focal Press 2001) and Raindance Producers Lab (2004). Elliot also founded the British Independent Film Awards in 1998 and in 2007 co-founded
Roger Corman on Elliot Grove
Roger Corman

"Elliot Grove and Raindance has inspired and re-vitalised filmmaking in the UK"

About Roger Corman...

Read a C4 interview with Elliot...

Read a former attendee's comments

Join Our Mailing List
Raindance is pleased to present Elliot Grove's LO-TO-NO BUDGET FILMMAKING weekend in London Saturday/Sunday 16/17 February. This is the crash course where Guy Ritchie met Mathew Vaughn, and the course that has come to form the basis of independent film production in the UK and Europe.

Read on...
What do Chris Nolan, Matthew Vaughn, Guy Ritchie and James Marsh have in common?
James MarshAll are former students of Elliot Grove's LO-TO- NO BUDGET FILMMAKING class and have gone on to write, produce and direct critically and commercially acclaimed films. BTW James won the 2 big prizes at Sundance last weekend. click the picture for more details.

Why waste four years and thousands at a pretentious film school when Elliot delivers clear and concise information that you can use to write, produce, direct and distribute your first feature film, within budgets of £1,000 - £100,000 - £1,000,000.

There's never been a better time to work in the British independent film industry. Everyone wants in. The cinemas want movies, TV, mobile telephone operators and websites all want movies. For over 16 years, Elliot has run the Raindance Film Festival, and worked with writers, directors and producers that are now the leading lights in the British independent film movement. He has taught at leading universities in France, Denmark, Japan, Sweden and Canada, and unlike most other film instructors, writes and produces feature films himself, with three produced features, and four more currently in pre- production.

His students have gone on to shoot films that together have grossed more than $100,000,000 at the box office.

In 1998, Elliot founded the British Independent Film Awards, which have quickly become the most important independent film awards in the UK. Last year he launched, quickly becoming Europe's leading IPTV service for independent films.

More than 5,000 students have taken Elliot's class. He's been featured and reviewed in every major film magazine and newspaper around the world, and his former students are a Who's Who of the UK film world.

From your initial idea to final film, in just two days taking Elliot Grove's LO-TO-NO BUDGET FILMMAKING seminar, you will immediately learn and understand how to shoot, produce, direct, finance, market and distribute your film successfully and efficiently.


London Sat/Sun 16/17 February
- Registration: £250 + VAT = £293.75
You can Book Online Here or call 0207 287 3833

Day 1 Outline
Saturday 16 February 9:30 - 6pm

Learn a step-by-step process using proven cost-effective, lo- to-no budget filmmaking techniques by considering the best and most efficient ways to produce, direct, shoot and edit a saleable feature film.

Pre-Production: getting organised for an efficient shoot
Budgets from £500 to £1,000,000 are discussed in detail
Proven lo-budget short cuts and faking a million pound budget
Using sound and music to enhance production values
Getting professional actors
The essentials of the art and craft of film directing
More than fifty lo-budget shooting tips
Avoiding the three big filmmaking mistakes
The Five Minute directing school
Day 2 Outline
Sunday 17 February 9:30 - 6pm

Discover the secrets and real facts behind marketing, selling and distributing your finished film throughout the world and the pre-planning you need to turn your movie into this year's cult classic, and yourself into a hot filmmaker.

The movie game: presenting your first project to investors
Approaching named actors
Distribution and marketing
Publicity: the essential ingredient to selling your film
PR kit: creating an effective package
Film buyers and film markets
Plotting the film festival route
Film financing: executing a strategy for a £50k-£3m budget
Honing a workable pitch for your film
The distribution deal
Putting together a realistic gameplan

Filmmaking needn't be expensive, or cluttered with mystique. Let Elliot Grove give you the information you need to launch your career.

Happy Filmmaking,

Elliot Grove
Raindance Festivals Limited

- Ask about our special repeater fee (-50%) if you have taken this course before and would like a refresher
- Ask about our Group Booking discount for 3+ students
- Members of Raindance get a 15% discount.
- Students, OAP's and UB40's 10% discount
- if you live outside the M25 you will qualify for our 10% out-of-town discount

Discounts cannot be combined.
Don't miss out. Don't delay.
Call 0207 287 3833 to book
Raindance Courses Work

Raindance students have made over 150 feature films and hundreds of shorts. Ed Blum (Scenes of a Sexual Nature) , Guy Ritchie (Lock Stock), Kirk Jones (Nanny MacPhee) , Christopher Nolan (Memento, Batman), Jeremy Bolt (Resident Evil), Paul Brooks(My Big Fat Greek Wedding), Vadim Jean (Leon The Pig FArmer), Roland Gift, and Emily Lloyd are some of the people who have taken a Raindance course.
Check out Raindance courses
The Raindance Guarantee Try any course at Raindance and discover that the course isn't for you, just make yourself known to a member of Raindance for a no-questions asked refund.

The fine print:
Refund requests only accepted until the first break on a weeknight course, and lunch-time on a weekend course.

At Raindance we don't teach filmmaking

At Raindance we make filmmakers
Get some Free Stuff Here are some of Elliot's most popular articles from the past 6 months.

10 Stupid Mistakes Filmmakers Make
Hollywood's 4 Big Lies
How Much Is Your Film Worth?
Making It With A Short Film
Why not forward this email to a friend?
We'd like that.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Wedding Crashers

It's okay. Isla Fisher is lush.

Monday, January 28, 2008


Classic. Nice chemistry.


I like this a lot. Spoofs the first one in a way.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Banana Skinner


Movie Mogul Fund ad

A few props from the upcoming Movie Mogul Fund ad we're doing. More will be up soon.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - In The Valley Of Elah

Very good indeed. Tommy Lee Jones should win for this rather than No Country For Old Men.

Be Kind Rewind

I cannot wait to see this, although it has had some mixed reviews at Sundance.
Sod them.

Saturday, January 26, 2008


Filthy thriller. Few twists here and there.. You even get to see Bruces Willi...

Friday, January 25, 2008

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - A Dog's Breakfast

Very, very good indeed. Nice end to a movie.

Thursday, January 24, 2008


Best of the three.


Awesome ! Ha ha ! Nah, I'm joking.

Slow Gossip Day

For great tips on how to be a hit with the ladies,
amazing downloads and hilarious videos, Get In There
is the number-one website for chat-up kings. Plus
exclusive add-ons for your social networking site.
It's all you need to get in there with girls.

“Psychiatry doesn't work. When you study the
effects, it's a crime against humanity” - Tom Cruise

“I was like the Miley Cyrus of my
generation” - Debbie Gibson
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 24.01.08 ISSUE 382
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to

* Farewell Alan Ledger
* Madonna v The Ivy
* Charts: Adele V Basshunter for number one

>> Beckhamwatch <<
Thick 'n' thin chill out

David and Victoria Beckham were at Three Mills
studios in East London this week filming promos
for their perfume. In the breaks between scenes
David sat in his Bentley while Victoria sat in
her Mercedes. Even celebrity couples need
“me” time, it seems.

Authorities in in Bangalore have banned dancing in
nightclubs. People have to just sit around while the
DJ plays music, as police are sent to check up.

>> She's in parties <<
Madonna versus The Ivy?

The Hilton on Park Lane looks to be re-
launching its basement bar, Zeta, as a new
private members club. Insiders claim that
Piers Adam and his cohorts from Mahiki
will be taking it on. And the rumour
is they'll have a very special partner
in this venture. Madonna. (Piers, of course
was Guy Ritchie's best man...)

London's going to need something special
to take on Richard Caring's growing empire.
The owner of the Ivy group and Annabels this
week bought up the Soho House chain. And
this Spring opens a private members club
above the Ivy. Which one will you join?

Men in England and Wales are twice as likely to die
as a result of having a foreign object in their anus
as they are through being struck by lightning.

>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week

One of London's most famous nightclubs
in the 70s and 80s had a secret VIP sex
room and dungeon. Someone who worked
there says he has a film of which
well-endowed Royal shagging his male friend?

The daughter of which film director caused
such a scene at the Garden and Grill Thai
Restaurant in Notting Hill, (“do you know
who my father is?”, glass smashing,
crying “I hate all men”) that staff gave
all other diners a free drink to say sorry?

Kristen DeGroat from Michigan placed a advert in her
local paper to sell a horse, but it was mistakenly
put in the section "Good Things to Eat".

>> Farewell Keith Fletcher <<
Readers reminisce about Heath

Lady X writes:
“I met Heath Ledger in a bar of a hotel
in Melbourne about four years ago. He
was instantly recognisable, but he insisted
on introducing himself as 'Keith Fletcher'
to everyone”.

bloodydoorsoff writes:
“When Heath was dating Heather Graham they
turned up at the Prince Bonaparte pub for
Sunday lunch. They sat down and waited for
table service (you order at the bar) and
waited and waited and waited. Eventually
they left, without sustenance.”

celtiagirl writes:
“I met Heath a few times. Sweet boy.
Once he gave me a ball-by-ball recreation
of a big Aussie cricket match. And according
to a slutty chum (NOT ME), he was of average
build, no more but not much less. Noisy
too and a sloppy kisser.”

FYI: Heath and his sister were named after the
two main characters in Wuthering Heights.

FYI 2: The lovely christians of Westboro church
are planning to attend Ledger's funeral:

We hear Kate Moss is thinking of signing up to be in
a UK rom-com movie. One of her entourage said
“It'll be like Garbo talks”. Or not.

>> Readers letters <<
Say sorry to a star through popbitch

80s pop fan writes:
“I'd just broken up with a boyfriend and
gone for commiseration drinks at Julies
in Notting Hill with friends. I got tearful
so hid in the toilets. A pregnant Stella
McCartney came in while I was standing by
the sinks. When she came out of the cubicle
I was still there so she asked me if I was OK.
I started crying and told her everything about
my break-up. She stayed listening to me and
cheering me up for ages. It started to feel
like we were old friends. So I reached out
and groped her stomach and said 'Oh look
you've got a little baby in there!'

“Stella froze. I realised I'd totally crossed
the line and she mumbled goodbye and left.
'So I just want to say - 'Sorry Stella'.”

Do you need to apologise to a celebrity?

New and tiresome marketing wheeze: Taxi Driver
Marketing. Firms are paying some cabbies to talk up
their products, brands or venues to their fares.

>> How to get through January <<
Surviving winter with style - part 2

1. Book your flight to Gobbler's Knob.
It's only one week til Groundhog Day:

2. You've probably forgotten Let Loose and
Crazy For You, but it sounds fantastic:

3. Go to the Serengeti and find a honey badger.
(Ruben from Madorea Safaris is the best guide
in the world and will sort out all your trip):

4. Check out Yoav's cheekbones:

5. HBO launches its big new show, In
Treatment, next week. And with the writer's
strike it's probably the only big show
coming up. It's on five nights a week,
each day features a different psychiatry
patient and it's awesome.

6. Get the Freaks & Geeks DVD set, and see
why it's the most important TV series of the
21st Century:

An Olsen twin spotted at Greenwich Village sushi haunt
Tomoe. She ate and drank beer (so probably not Mary
Kate). Her manfriend asked “Are mushrooms healthy?”

>> Take this and party <<
Are you working-class eye candy?

Nigel Martin-Smith put Take That together. He's
trawling for a new band “that will eventually
perform/sing hip-hop and uplifting house”.

He's looking for boys aged 16-23 -
“'Eye candy' - working class, tattooed, a
bit of rough trade...”

“He doesn't need to be able to sing at this
stage. Working-class lad who's sailed close
to the wind or worse but come through it...
Might be a boxer but definitely inner-city.
Think a Jody Latham.”

We can't wait.

Popbitch's favourite named Green city councillor:
Brighton's Jason Kitcat.

>> New Year's hell <<
Jeremy Clarkson brought a donkey

There's never a suicide bomber around when
you need one... At one New Year's Eve
party in the Cotswolds guests included
Rebekah Wade, The Camerons, Bob Geldof,
AA Gill and Jeremy Clarkson.

Dave the Rave Cameron spent much of the
evening on the dancefloor, telling people
his tunes of the night were Sugarhill Gang's
Rapper's Delight and rare groove classic
Funky Nassau's Beginning of the End. His
missus Samantha asked the DJ to play
Blue Boy's Remember Me.

Jeremy Clarkson brought an unusual Christmas
gift for the host - a donkey.

Eddie Murphy brought his mother on his recent
honeymoon with ex-bride Tracey Edmonds.

>> McNorads <<
America's weirdest burger bar

N writes:
“I went to NORAD in the 90's. Inside the
mountain there was a shopping area with a
barbers and a branch of McDonalds.
Sadly the he main control room was a bit
dull with just tiny TV's. It was nothing
like War Games!”

This is the most miserable week of the year, say
scientists. Brighten it up with's pick of
the new season's acid brights.

>> Things that make you go hmm <<
Angels, lesbian builder, polar bears

The best ever Idol act? Try Angels For
Ever, on Danish Pop Idol. Mentally
challeneged twins with ADHD:

Need a handywoman?

Polar bear babies:

Buy a birthday suit:

When did Rachel Stevens turn into Stifler's mom?

How’s my Skiing, How’s my Drumming and
How’s my Diet t-shirts:

And the Oscar for Best Achievement in
Suicide goes to...? It's Oscars betting
time. Odds, rumours, tips:

>> Chart Predictions <<
New entries/High climbers Sun 27th January

++ Number One
ADELE Chasing Pavements

++ Top Twenty

>> End Bit <<
Stuff about Popbitch

* Email stories, gossip:

* Subscribe or unsubscribe here:

* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.

* Web hosting by:

* Mail by aysabtu

* We put a dodgy link in last week, so if you
want to design a beer bottle for Brahma beer
and win five grand, here's your chance:

Thanks to: AM, SW, WB, PM, RS, SC, NS, Soe, MBW, SM
LT, E, N, S, dollymixture, intheissynoho, MTB,

Old Jokes Home:
I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.
Got a call centre in Pakistan .
I told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I
could drive a truck.

Still Bored:
Stalin World. The only theme park where you can
be interrogated by KGB:

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Missing In Action 2

Chuck Norris is a legend, but not for this.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


Classic 1980's flick. Very,very underrated. Great script.

Of Course

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The first cinematic screening in Europe of a film starring actor Leonardo Di Caprio was at Raindance in 1993 with What's Eating Gilbert Grape

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Dear Elliot,

Thank you for your informative and spot on information as always.
I took your course in Glasgow in October 1995 and I have made eleven features since then ...

Kind regards,
Robbie Moffat
Palm Tree UK
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Dear Elliot,

Just to say a million thank yous for the course last weekend. It was absolutely fab! I totally enjoyed it and you inspired me to go forwards instead of staying still.

You are a walking movie in human form and once my movie finally finds its feet - I would really love for you to be around because you just have that extra special know how to get it spectacular!

Sheila Cronin

I know you get hundreds of emails every day but I wanted to say thank you for the course this weekend. I really enjoyed it and felt that by the end there were some great group dynamics going on. There were a number of areas that I was particularly interested in learning about (shooting with 35mm cameras, actors and cinematographers) and I am very happy with the level of detail that you provided for us. Really, it was great.

With best wishes

Richard Griffiths
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Raindance tutor
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Thanks again for a great weekend course. The time just flew.
I've now started thinking about my screenwriting in terms of a new
business venture, and that way of thinking is really helping me focus
on what I'm doing, along with the craft-skills that I've been learning
over the last few months.

Best regards,

Quick Links

In case I never get the nerve to say this to your face............ Raindance and you have been an inspiration.

I did the Lo-To-No Budget Filmmaking course in July 2003 and since then many more courses.

They've helped me write my first feature length script, which is being optioned, and have the courage to experiment with friends on a couple of shorts and finally make my first short film with a full crew, totally no budget of course...I share your attitude to cash.

This in between working full time and writing another 20 other treatments and scripts which I will develop once I have the time to sleep again.

Bottom line if I hadn't come to Raindance I would never found the courage to follow my dream....thank you for the encouragement and the inspiration!

Keep on keeping on.

Kindest regards

Deborah Groves

Finally, my eyes are open. I have the potential to be a great screenwriter. I can be up there with Leigh Brackett, Joss Whedon, Mario Puzo, Lawrence Kasdan and John Peoples (Leigh Brackett was a woman, by the way - and she wrote 'The Big Sleep', 'Rio Bravo' and the first draft of 'The Empire Strikes Back' - on her death bed! I think she was brilliant and as a writer she is one of my heroes...).

I can do this.

Leigh Oakley, Screenwriter

Dear Raindance,

Many thanks for yet another fantastic course this weekend, as usual Raindance delivers.

Steve Akers

Here is our new catalogue of up-coming film training courses in writing, directing and producing that we are presenting this year up til Easter in Central London. Whether you are interested in directing, writing, producing or shooting, there is something for you at Raindance.

Raindance courses really work. Filmmakers who have taken our courses have made films which have screened at prestigious film festivals, won awards and made a combined box office total of more than one hundred million dollars.

Our courses are not taught by teachers - they are taught by filmmakers who can teach. If you want a summary of how we teach, and if you have 21 minutes, let me show you how with our
21 Minute Film School.

Our courses can be taken individually or grouped as diplomas. Let me tell you more:
First: Our classes work
So many people have taken our classes and then gone on to make a feature film. Paul Andrew Williams is one.

If you have never heard of him, click on his picture to the left. He is currently directing The Cottage, following the success of his debut £80K feature,
London To Brighton.

Second: We follow our own advice

We currently have four films in production - all written, directed and produced by people like you who have taken Raindance courses.

Third: We make movies
Over the past sixeen years of hosting our Film Festival, we have made some excellent connections with investors eager to discover new talent - like you. The first film we produced, THE LIVING AND THE DEAD, had its world premiere at the prestigious Rotterdam Film Festival last January. The film has gone on to win 17 awards at international film festivals, it has sold to 21 territories, and now plans are being made to release the film here in the UK and abroad.

Our second feature is currently in post-production.

Fourth: We know which films work with audiences
Which is why we launched
last fall with the best independent shorts, features and documentaries.

Fifth: We run an international film festival
Where you could screen your work (if it's good enough) This year our jurors included Mick Jones (founder of The Clash) and Iggy Pop.
How Our Courses Work

Our courses repeat every four months, except for special events with major guest directors, producers and screenwriters - which happen throughout the year.

You can book an individual course or a series of courses to make up a Raindance Diploma in your area of interest:
Writing, Directing, Producing or Filmmaking.

If you are unsure of which course to take, call me up, Will Pearce, on 0207 287 3833 and ask as many questions as you like. As Course Director at Raindance my job is to make sure you pick the right course for your skill level and your interest.

Whatever course or courses you choose, I can promise you that our courses deliver the most amount of information in the least amount of time at the best possible price.

Look around our website...
99 Minute Film School

Light EquipSummer 2008
Just £30
Members £25.50

You can't learn filmmaking in one evening, can you?

Let Raindance founder Elliot Grove try in this fun and information-packed evening.

Perhaps you have heard about Raindance and our courses but have never taken the leap. Here's your chance.

You can
Book Online Here or call us 020 7287 3833

Learn more...
Filmmakers Foundation Certificate
Five Tuesdays starting 22 January, 6:30-9pm

~Film Crew Silhouette
Five Tuesday nights designed to take the fear out of filmmaking and give you an overview of writing, directing, producing and marketing a first short or feature film.

Week 1: Writing for Low Budget Films
Writing your first movie but have a low budget? This week we will concentrate on how to get the most out of your script, locations and actors and how to make sure these elements will be in line with a low budget. Discover how to make what you already know into a unique story.

Week 2: Essentials of Lo-to-No Budget Filmmaking
Making movies can be very expensive, but debut films are usually made on miniscule budgets. A successful filmmaker will make the ordinary seem extraordinary, thus enhancing the film's production values.

Week 3: Director's Toolkit
Actors, cinematographers and directors form one of the most exciting relationships on a movie set. New directors need to learn to communicate their vision to their crew in order to get the best results on screen.

Week 4: Introduction to Production
The computer and camera companies have developed a bewildering array of low-cost editing and camera equipment. Choose the right equipment and maximise its potential for the edit of your movie.

Week 5: Selling Your Film: Creating a Press Kit
An essential task for filmmakers is to create a marketing plan for your film. Learn how to utilise the trade press, consumer press and film festivals to turn your film (and yourself) into this year's cult classic.
(Please note: This evening is also offered as a separate evening class called Selling Your Film - see below)

Just £145 + VAT = £170.37
Members pay just £144.82 inc VAT
You can
Book Online Here or call us 020 7287 3833

Who should attend:
Writers, directors, producers, actors, filmmakers, cinema lovers and anyone with an interest in how movies are made and who seek a basic introduction to the filmmaking process.

Learn more...
Join Raindance

Get 15% off all courses (20% off Diplomas), free script registration, our annual DVD of the best shorts from the Raindance Film Festival and much more.

Find out more..

Why not
join online here?
Directors Foundation Certificate
Five Thursdays starting 24 January, 6:30-9:30 pm

One of our most popular courses designed to take you through the basic elements of directing and prepare you for directing your first short or feature.

Week 1: The Director and the Script

The script is the blueprint for a movie. The director's job is to read and interpret the screenplay. Discover how a good director translates the written word into the visual elements on the screen.

Week 2: The Director and the Rehearsal
The director's challenge is to communicate his/her vision to the cast. Learn how to run a rehearsal and create mood and tension by inspiring the actors and using the tool of staging.

Week 3: The Grammar of Directing
Directors use a variety of shots and lenses to compose their scenes and create a vocabulary of cinematic techniques and processes. Directors must learn the do's and don'ts of film grammar.

Week 4: Directing the Shoot
Using professional actors and a DV camera, we will shoot a short scene to demonstrate the techniques used by professionals.

Week 5: Directing the Edit
In the edit, the audiovisual material collected during the shoot is reorganised to tell the film's story in the best possible way. The director must thoroughly understand the editing process.

Just £145 + VAT = £170.37
Members pay just £144.82 inc VAT

You can Book Online Here or call 020 7287 3833

Who should attend
Writers, directors, producers, actors, filmmakers, cinema lovers and anyone with an interest in how movies are made and who seek a basic introduction to the filmmaking process.

More details here...
Selling Your Film

Tuesday 19 February, 6:30-9 pm
Only £30
Members price is £25.50

You've made your film, now what?

This course explains how to create a press kit, how to submit to film festivals, how to maximise festival screenings and how to attend film markets.

(Please note - this class is also the 5th week of the Filmmakers Foundation Certificate and is incuded in that program.)

You can Book Online Here or call 020 7287 3833.

Learn more...
First Feature Raindance Students Score

Raindance alumni keep hitting the big time:
Alison Owen produced BRICK LANE
Ken Marshall produced LONDON TO BRIGHTON
Mark Ezra produced WAKING NED
Charles Steel produced THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND
Philippa Braithwaite produced SLIDING DOORS
Vadim Jean produced LEON THE PIG FARMER
Paul Brooks produced MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING
Jeremy Bolt produced THE LONG GOOD FRIDAY
Matthew Vaughn directed STARDUST
Julian Fellowes wrote GOSFORD PARK
Guy Ritchie wrote and directed LOCK, STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS
Christopher Nolan wrote & directed MEMENTO
Edgar Wright wrote & directed SHAUN OF THE DEAD and HOT FUZZ

All took Raindance courses.

Lo-To-No Budget Filmmaking
Make your first feature
Sat/Sunday 16/17 February, 9:30am-6pm
£250 + VAT = £293.75
Members pay just £249.69

LoBudgetFewer European filmmakers have more experience in shooting, producing and marketing micro and no-budget films than Raindance founder Elliot Grove.

Day One: Learn over 50 money saving filmmaking tips.
Day Two: Learn how to finance, market and sell your movie and how to turn your movie into this year's cult classic.

You can Book Online Here or call 020 7287 3833

Learn More...

Making A Short Film
Sat/Sun 23/24 February, 9:30am-6pm
£250 + VAT = £293.75
Members pay just £249.69

HunterA weekend masterclass taught by Simon Hunter, who has just completed The Mutant Chronicles atarring John Malkevich.

This course covers every aspect of making a short film - from the why to the what. It'll also give you the chance to pick the brains of one of Hollywood's hottest properties.

More details here

You can Book Online Here or call 020 7287 3833
Creating A Business Plan
Tuesday 26 February, 6:30-9:30 pm
Just £30 or £25.50 for

Once you have scoured film festivals looking for new talent, settled on the next hot director and found that absolutely terrific script, you need to prepare a plan of attack to get the money to shoot your film.

This evening workshop will run through the essentials you will need to present your project to both private and industry investors. The last segment deals with creating a business plan for your career enabling you to raise enough money so you can ditch the day job.

You can Book Online Here or call 020 7287 3833

Read on...

Hands-On Directing for Film and Television
Saturday/Sunday 1/2 March 10-6:30 pm
Just £250 + VAT = £293.75
Members save 15%

TuckerEveryone wants to be a director. If you can create a 'look' for your film, your career will skyrocket.

But why do so many British feature films, especially those by first-time directors, fail to achieve this important artistic success? When the technique needed for visually pleasing single-camera direction is so basic, why do so many directors fail to make the right choices? And when actors can add so much to a production, why don't directors take the time to ensure that their actors perform to the best of their abilities?

This intensive seminar teaches the secrets of maximising performance from the cast while realising the importance of the ultimate audience: the camera. Learn how to direct on-time and on-budget, get the results you want and keep the producers happy. Single camera shooting techniques are explored in depth. Students will be given a number of exercises to undertake, including the opportunity to participate in directing a short dramatic scene critiqued by Patrick Tucker.

Full details here...

You can Book Online Here or call 020 7287 3833

Patrick also teaches an advanced course:
Advanced Hands-On Directing for Film and TV
Saturday/Sunday 8/9 March 10 - 6:30 pm
Just £250 + VAT
Members save 15%

You can Book Online Here or call 020 7287 3833

Directing Your First Feature
Sat/Sunday 1/2 March
£250 + VAT = £293.75
Members pay just £249.69

HunterDirecting a film can seem an impossible goal.

But it needn't be - with practical advice and sure-fire tips you could be shooting your feature film in just twelve months.

No one can offer you a course that teaches you how to create a great piece of work - that lies with the individual. What can be taught is the fundamental knowledge with which you need to arm yourself. Should you zoom or should you track? The choice is yours, but you will learn how each technique affects an audience.

Simon Hunter has just finished directing the feature Mutant Chronicles and is one of the hottest directors working in Europe today.

More details here

Call Raindance 020 7287 3833 or Book Online Here
Movie Money
Where It Is And How To Get It
Tuesday 4 March, 6:30-9:30pm
Book Online Here
Just £30
Members price £25.50

Discover how to raise money for your film by using non- industry finance. Learn how EIS, VCT and pension funds can all be sources for your film finance.

Learn how small and larger deals are put together and how the recoupment waterfall works.

N.B. If you are looking for sources of industry finance, please look at the UK Film council website.
More details...
Raindance Gift Certificates

We issue gift certificates in denominations to suit your budget - anything from £20. Gift certificates make the ideal gift for the special film person in your life.

Last year over a hundred people attended our courses using gift certificates.

Call me, Will Pearce, on 020 7287 3833 and I'll talk you through it.

Write and Sell the HOT Script
Saturday/Sunday 8/9 March, 9:30-6pm
Only £250 + VAT = £293.75

Members pay just £249.69

Need some help getting that great idea for a movie out of your head and onto a piece of paper?

And then, need to organise a plan of attack so you can get it sold?

Raindance founder Elliot Grove has built a solid reputation for devising and presenting the best introduction to screenwriting in Europe.

You can book here or call 020 7287 3833

Full details here

Hollywood's Four Greatest Lies
Your FREE Raindance article on the four big lies of Hollywood.
Budgeting and Scheduling

Tuesday 11 March, 7:00-9:30pm
Just £30 or £25.50 for

Always considered the boring bit by film producers and directors, the budget and schedule are nevertheless the spine of any production. If you get the budget (the money part) wrong, your film will stall half-finished without cash. Get the schedule (the time) wrong, and your film will suffer - either from loss of quality or remain unfinished because you have run out of time (and budget!)

This evening explains how scripts are analysed and whipped into shape budget-wise and schedule-wise.

You can Book Online Here or call 020 7287 3833
Full details here...
Writers Lab
7 Wednesdays from 12 March, 6:30-9:30pm
Only £145 + VAT = £170.37
Members pay just £144.82

ElliotGroveElliot Grove leads writers in a first or second draft script through an interactive workshop designed to get your idea firmed up and leave you with a realistic plan to finish your script.

Previous writing experience is advised, but not necessary.

You can Book Online Here or call 020 7287 3833

Full details...

This popular course has limited places.
Avoid disappointment - book now
020 7287 3833
Camera Skills 1 and 2
Saturday and Sunday 29/30 March, 10am-6:30pm
Just £125 + VAT each day, or £250 + VAT both days
Members save 15%

DVDA 2-part masterclass for first time filmmakers and anyone wanting to gain a better understanding of cinematic single camera techniques. You can attend either or both sessions, although it is recommended that both are attended for maximum benefit.

You can Book Online Here or call 020 7287 3833
More details here...
Basic Legal Contracts
Tuesday 18 March, 6:30-9:30 pm
Only £30

Members save 15%

Once your film is finished and ready to be sold, you will have to show the "chain of title" to any prospective film buyer. If you fail to do this, you will never be able to sell your film.

In this evening crash course, the basic talent (ie: writer, director, actor) contracts are explained. View it as health insurance for filmmakers.

You can Book Online Here or call 020 7287 3833

Read more here...
The HDV Shoot
Sat/Sun 5/6 April, 10am-6.30pm
Just £250 + VAT

Members save 15%

Light EquipEver wanted to just get out there and shoot a film? Well you can, cheaply and efficiently with the many HDV cameras available on the market right now. The digital revolution has put broadcast quality video cameras into the reach of just about everyone.

Broadcast quality and very easy to use, HDV is an ideal tool for filmmakers to make films on a low budget without compromising on quality of image. All you need are good ideas, a great script, and with a little technical know-how you can get going.

You will also learn how to edit the film and create a high-quality tape that can be submitted to festivals and distributors and used on your showreel. With the advent of HD television, more and more broadcasters are seeking material originated on the HD/HDV format.

Participants will be given a DVD copy of the rushes and a rough cut. You will have the opportunity to do all of the jobs on the shoot: direct, operate the camera, set up lights, work with professional actors and record professional quality location sound.

You can book online here or call 020 7287 3833

Only eighteen places available...
Directing Performance
Sat/Sun 19/20 April 2008, 10am-6.30pm
or December 1/2 '07
Just £250 + VAT

Members save 15%

Light EquipDirecting Performance introduces directors to the acting process and demonstrates proven techniques to enable directors to promote strong performances.

By developing the inner and outer worlds of the characters through their relationships with their environment, other characters and themselves, a great story can be given further depth and will create a greater involvement for the audience.

Working with professional actors, Chris Thomas will demonstrate how the director can gain clues from the text, think creatively about casting and together with their cast, create rich characterisations and relationships no matter what the film is about.

Participants will gain insight into how actors prepare, explore ways to use rehearsal and direct actors during the shoot. The course will be illustrated through examples, demonstration and review of scenes shot during the class.

You can book online here or call 020 7287 3833

Full details here...
Pitching Skills Workshop
Thursday 24 April, 6.30-9.30pm
Only £30
Members save 15%

Pitching is one of the most essential skills needed for a successful career in the film industry. It is also one of the least considered by new entrants to the industry.

This intensive evening class presents the original class developed for the MA programme of film studies at the Royal College of Art Film School and is presented here in its entirety. Participants will also have the opportunity to test their pitches out on Elliot Grove and get his immediate response in his acclaimed "Pitch Repair" session.

You can book online here or call 020 7287 3833

More details...
What You Don't Know About Story Will Kill You
Thursday 3 April
£30 inc VAT
Members get this class FREE

John Truby's powerful lecture that has turned the attitude of story executives in Hollywood towards 3 Act Structure upside down.

Learn more here...
Truby John Truby's 22 Step Story Structure
Sat/Sun 5/6 April
£250 + VAT
Members get a 15% discount

John Truby's 22 Step Story class remains one of the most innovative and powerful storytelling tools anywhere.
More details here

This course is always oversubscribed. Don't miss out. Call 020 7287 3833 to register or book online here.

If you have any questions, give me a call at the office. The last thing we want is for you to attend a course that is wrong for you. My number at Raindance is 020 7287 3833. If I'm not around, Joe or Elliot will probably be able to help you out.

Happy filmmaking

Will Pearce
Head of Raindance Training
Will Pearce
Raindance Festivals Limited

The Raindance Guarantee

If you decide to attend and find that any Raindance course is overhyped, unsuitable or simply does not meet or exceed your expectations, let a member of Raindance know by noon on the first day for an instant, no-questions-asked refund.

The Fine Print: Let us know by lunchtime on the first day of a weekend course or at the first break on an evening course and we will make a full refund

What is Raindance?

Since 1992 Raindance has been offering advice and support for independent fimmakers. We started the Raindance Film Festival in 1993, and the British Independent Film Awards in 1998. We also have a training programme that has had remarkable success. And all this without public funding. Presently there are nine of us working out of our office in Soho, London. Although we are London-based we are on the look-out for anyone who might like to work with us in another city or country.

We are always looking for new ideas, or your stories about your movie.

To contact us, call 44 (0)20 7287 3833, or send an email to

Raindance offers the following discounts:

- students/OAPs/UB40 - 10%
- members of any film organisation - 10%
- members of Raindance - 15%
- repeater fee (if you have taken the course before - 50%
- call 020 7287 3833 for details of group booking discounts
- call 020 7287 3833 for our 10% out-of-town discount
The fine print: Discounts can not be combined