Friday, August 15, 2008

She loves Barbie

The Premiership kicks off on Saturday, so sign up to
The Times Fantasy Football and pick your team today.
You have £100 million to spend on players from the
Prem and SPL. Register a team for £3, or get 3 teams
for 6 quid. The prize fund is £100,000:

"I loved Barbie. I have about 20 dolls, the
huge house, the hot dog stand, the workout
centre, the pool, the Corvette and the
water-slide park" - Katie Holmes

"I'm glad I could wait this long before I
had to deal with reality" - Katie Holmes
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 14.07.08 ISSUE 410
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to

* Not the charts: How good is the new Keane single?

>> Back door Hamilton <<
Lewis tries to be nice to everyone

Lewis Hamilton popped into the Dorchester Hotel
for an event recently. Rather than walk in off
the street like anyone else, he was secretly
bundled in the back door.

Why? Hamilton has a deal with Hilton, and some
of his people were worried about him being
photographed going into a different hotel.
The joys of being a superstar, eh?

Popbitch's favourite British backstroker:
Liam Tancock. And our favourite Olympic boxing
judge? Cuba’s Juan Ponce.

>> Miller liked <<
Sienna has some admirers

Overheard in a greasy spoon in North London
last week, two blokes who claimed to be
drinking buddies of Rhys Ifans. One of the
men claimed Sienna Miller had been badly
treated by the press and "copped the blame
unfairly" for leaving Mr Ifans, who is "a
great laugh" and a "wonderful bloke". But
but such a huge drinker that "it's doubtful
any woman who'll stick with him for long".
They were also of the opinion that Miller
had "done herself proud" by not talking
about it anywhere.

Like humans, pandas walk with both their heel and toes.

>> Big Questions <<
What football fans are asking this week

This player enjoyed a big transfer during the
summer but was less keen on his other
activities getting a high-profile.
With a wife at home, he still lived it up
shagging around. And reached for a privacy
injunction the second a one-night stand
went to the newspapers.

Which footballer, when caught shagging his
mistress in the marital bed by a tabloid,
was so cool about the potential scandal
he refused to tell his wife the story was
about to break?

China are leading America in the Gold race but we
predict a Phelps-led comeback for the USA. Get on
this (and your favourite Brits - see below) with a
series of cheeky flutters making up £25 and Betfair
will give you £25 free:

>> Viva la Revolucion! <<
Britain’s modern meritocracy

Princess Beatrice has been admitted to trendy
Goldsmith’s College. But how? Some tutors
can’t seem to find an application form or
UCAS entry for her anywhere. You know. that
form that everyone has to fill out to go to
University in Britain. Maybe it got lost. Or maybe
there’s different rules for royalty. Still,
the tutors aren’t so upset. They did
manage to head off Peaches Geldof’s application.

Pandas are black and white because their conspicuous
coat enables solitary pandas to spot one another, and
avoid each other, but also to help males and
females find one another during the breeding season.

>> The one and only – more <<
Chesney Hawkes is a very nice man

DJ V writes:
“I present a radio talk show. The other week
we were doing a show on what people earn and
wanted to get a 'pop star' on to reveal what
cash they make. We got Chesney Hawkes number
and called him one afternoon. He answered
in a half-whisper as we explained who we are
and what we wanted. He was very polite but
explained he "can't talk now as I'm looking
after my sick children, but I'd be more than
happy to talk later..." He then gave us his
manager's number! We never ended up calling
him back but he was very sweet.”

Pandas excrete up to 40 kilograms per day. Because
their feces eliminate more water than their food
brings in, they usually drink at least once per day.

>> Team GB: hot or not? <<
Sports Minister Burnham delivers kiss of death

One week in, and already the Olympics are creating
new British household names - there's that Welsh
bike woman, the swimming one, and who could forget
the little diving guy? He was rubbish. Blame
Minister for Culture, Media and Sport Andy Burnham,
perhaps, whose crass comments about how countries
like Australia looked enviously at Britain now
sealed our hapless athletes fates. Still,
there's always the rowing:

Here's our tips for making some money...

*GB coxless four.

*Kelly Sotherton in the Heptathlon.

* Usain Bolt and Asafa Powell will be hard to beat
in the 100m but Tyson Homosexual is good odds
at 3/1.

Start an account at Betfair, quote OLY008 and claim
£25 of free bets:

Julian Cope at Latitude had a meltdown, telling the
crowd "Tell your grandparents! Tell your
grandchildren that people like me existed!'.

>> Thought for the week <<
John McCain v Barack Obama

For anyone that didn’t know. John McCain was
at the bottom of his military class at Annapolis,
but still got to pilot a fighter plan due to
his father’s connections. He is the son and
the grandson of admirals. He finished
894 of 899 in his graduating class. Despite
crashing five aircrafts, John McCain was never
disciplined. And son-of-single-mother Obama
is, of course, the privileged elitist.

FYI: Most of the male porn stars were Jewish at
the beginning," says Republican Congressional
Candidate and Nazi apologist:

Basketball star Yao Ming is the financial backer of
a huge new music download system in China,

>> All we hear is <<
Radio Popbitch, Radio Popbitch

Over the last few months we’ve been putting
together a radio station online. It’s got
about 20,000 tunes on it. And it works much
like a pub jukebox. Select a track and we’ll
probably play it. Or just listen in. Anyway,
it’s still a work in progress but you can
try it out on

To celebrate, we have a free download single,
a new acoustic version of a very nice 80s
number from the Blow Monkeys, Diggin Your
Scene. And Dr Robert has kindly recorded a
radio show detailing his top 10 summer tunes:

When Chairman Mao Zedong's gifted Richard Nixon two
pandas in 1972, Ling-Ling and Hsing-Hsing, Nixon
responded by sending back a pair of musk oxen.

>> Things that make you go hmm <<
Piggy, Panda v Nixon, Steve McClaren

Miss Piggy does synchronised swimming:


Reality show hell - Ireland's Failte Towers.
(Failte, meaning welcome in Irish). Celebs have
to look after a hotel with "real" guests, The "stars"
include Brian Dowling from Big Brother (who is
very orange and looks botoxed), the ubiquitously
pointless Michelle Heaton and the gay and lesbian twins
who screwed up the Irish Eurovision entry a few years ago.

Bomb the Bass is back!/Users/camillawright/Desktop/grazia

Want to have your say on what’s cool?
Try Poll The People:

Steve McClaren’s new Dutch accent:

Resepct the F.A:

>> End Bit <<
Stuff about Popbitch

* Email stories, gossip:

* Subscribe or unsubscribe here:

* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.

* Web hosting by:

* Mail by aysabtu

* Bored with the Camden Crawl? Here's the
Shoreditch Shuffle. Full of art, bands
and music in September. Get your tickets here:

Thanks to: AM, SW, LB, LT, george, AC, LB, HM

Old Jokes Home:
Q: Why do I call my dog Blacksmith?
A: Because every time I have a visitor,
he makes a bolt for the door.

Still Bored:
Are you an idiot?

No comments: