Friday, August 01, 2008


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office one Friday this Summer? Get Lift Off for
the weekend with our free music and drinks party:


"I won't be going for any more wrong 'uns" - Rhys Ifans

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|_| |_| 31.07.08 ISSUE 408
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* Jennifer and MK meditate in Belgium
* Who's had a bad week?
* Charts: Kid Rock is number one

>> Walloonies <<
Jennifer and MK meditate in Belgium

Jennifer Aniston and Mary Kate Olsen have been
holidaying in a chic hotel in rural Belgium.
They arrived pretty much incognito and acted
like regular guests (although the hotel manager
said that they were very sensitive to smell
and requested a lot of scented candles and extra
fabric softener on the bed linen).

On their second day there they asked for a
corner of the garden to be set as a meditation area.
But that night some of the hotel's neighbours
had a party. Jen and MK complained, as the
music was stopping them meditating, and the
local police closed down the party.

Hotel Tr・s Marets:

A new US TV series is launching based on Studio 54.
The only real-life character will be co-founder Steve
Rubell with other characters being fictional.

>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week

Which rugby team went clubbing in west London
and ended up beating up the young trustafarian
clientele? Police are looking into it.

This fashion-forward actress has a love-it-
or-hate-it look. But how does she achieve it?
A strict diet, regular exercise and vomiting
"whenever she felt a bit full".

Looking for a Saturday night party venue in central
London? Late license, cheap drinks, lovely staff.
The Fullwood (off High Holborn). For more details
email or call Jim 07787 345437.

>> Fag v dominatrix <<
Privacy in Britain today:

* Want to smoke a fag in your own van on the
way to the shops?
Gordon Williams got a 30 quid fine.

* Want to be spanked by prostitutes until
your arse bleeds?
Max Mosley got 60 grand in damages as his
privacy was invaded by the News of the World.

Faye from Steps is a film star! She's starring in Kung
Fu Flid, the story of Jimmy, a thalidomide kung fu
and his other half Lu, who are trying to get their
daughter back from child trafficking gangsters.

>> Rothesay dinsoaurs <<
Police fun and games in Scotland

drunken_boht writes:
"FOF is in the police on Rothesay, Isle of Bute.
Richard Attenborough has a house on the island.
When new officers come to work on the island,
the station pretends that the alarm for his
house has rung, so get the housekeeper to let
them in to "Check it out, just in case". So that
they get to gawp in wonder at the massive dinosaur
from Jurassic Park nailed to the wall and the
mosquito in amber from the same film."

In Kennesaw, Georgia, it is legally mandatory for
everyone household to own a gun.


>> Celebrity foot-in-mouth disease <<
Making fools of themselves so we don't have to

Michelle Heaton used to be in Liberty X, then
married the brother of Lisa from Steps and
got a column in OK! magazine. Michelle has been
"telling all" about her marriage split with
Andy Scott-Lee:

OK! "It's been reported that Andy is dating
Sasha Parker, who won Colleen's Real Women.
How do you feel about that?"

Michelle "I was quite shocked to hear that
Andy was dating someone who would speak to
the papers."

(Seen a celebrity put their foot in their mouth?
email with your recommendation.)

Popbitch's favourite sales rep: Tom Tom satellite
tracking's Tom Thomson.

>> Porn pets and Peter Andre <<
Who in the world has had a bad week

1. Pets. Saudi Arabia's religious police have
announced a ban on selling pet cats and dogs or
exercising them in public in Riyadh, because of
men using them to talk to women.

2. Peter Andre sang at a concert last week. It was
at Invicta Primary School Assembly in Blackheath,
South London.

3. Computer hacker Gary McKinnon lost his House
of Lords appeal against extradition to the States.
Support him here:

4. Brendon Erdhardt, of Northern Territories,
Australia was caught by police speeding at 150km/h,
while filming himself masturbating at the wheel.
5kg of drugs was in his boot and two cannabis
plants were on the back seat. He's been given
bail se he can get married before jail.

5. Rick Davis, campaign manager for John McCain,
said of their lame ad showing Barack Obama as
an international celebrity, "Look, it is the most
entertaining thing I have seen on TV in a while."
Which suggests he doesn't watch a lot of TV.

LA city council has banned fast food outlets from
opening in South Los Angeles. Obesity rates in the
district are high, and 75% of restaurants there
already serve only fast food.


>> Say sorry to a star <<
Marc Almond gets a well-deserved apology

AB writes:
"Back in the 80s it was quite normal for gay singers
to hang around the London Apprentice on Old Street,
and they rarely got any bother from the other gayers
in the bar. On one occasion I was cruising round
the sleazy part of the bar when I came upon a
bare-chested Marc Almond, looking very sexy. I
followed him to a dark corner. I noticed that he had
a yellow hanky hanging out of his right hand jeans
pocket, so I took it that he was into watersports.

"Marc turned round to face me. I took out my dick and
started to piss on him. Somewhat outraged, he asked
what the fuck I thought I was doing. I told him I
thought he was into watersports because of the yellow
hanky in his right pocket. 'It's a t-shirt,' he

"Oops, sorry Marc."

Colin Farrell is filming in Castletownbere in Cork.
He told locals he is "off the drink" because he
"had a bit of a problem before".

>> Operation Homo <<
Inappropriately named military exercises

In 1956, the French version of MI6, the SDECE,
began sponsoring the assassination of German
and Swiss arm dealers who were supplying weapons
to the Algerian rebel group, the FLN.

This was called... Operation Homo.

Where's Chesney? For the first time in ages we've had
no Chesney Hawkes news sent in this week. Can anyone
put this right? email


>> Things that make you go hmm <<
Wolfman, morning after game, no Jesus

Album covers recreated in lego:

Continuity mistakes in The Dark Knight:

First glimpse of Wolfman - trailer was
launched at Comic Con this week:

Jesus never existed. Watch the trailer,
get the DVD:

Waste your Friday with this game:
(And look out for the naked teddy bear)

If you didn't watch enough West Wing and need
some help with the US Presidential election:

Boardmasters surf, skate and music festival
hits Newquay next week. If you can't go,
watch the highlights here:

Meet Lucky and Buddy, the rape dogs:,2933,388501,00.html

>> Chart Predictions <<
New entries/High climbers Sun 3rd August

++ Number One
KID ROCK All Summer Long

++ Top Ten

++ Top Twenty
NOAH & THE WHALE Five Years Time

++ Top Forty
RIHANNA Disturbia

>> End Bit <<
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* Going to The Big Chill? Got some tracks you・ve made
and want to get played? Here・s your chance. The Sauza
CDR Sessions are happening every day at the festival
from 4pm, just burn them to CD and drop them off with
your contact details at either the Sauza Tequila Bar
or the shop on site.

Thanks to: AM, SW, LB, LT, TC,, NP, stuart,
pauline, celtiagirl, JO, plastitom, deep_stoat,

THANKS: to everyone who came or supported our
cricket day in some way. We're still counting but
so far we raised a few thousand pounds:

* Alibi Pretox Drinks
* Thanks to Red Bull for helping give us
our cricket wings

* Great music and radio products:
* Books
* Beauty treatments
* Fruit
* T shirts that rock -
* Beautiful flowers from
* Emergency gifts:

Old Jokes Home:
Q: What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A: A zebra.

Still Bored:
We're bored with Amy Winehouse. We want this
version instead:

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