Friday, October 10, 2008

Strong Cheese Game

Popbitch Christmas Annual is out soon! Answers to 150
blind items inside. Plus games, jokes, smut, animals.

"I just can't help looking at Sarah Palin,
though, like she's a car wreck on the 405.
It's scary!" - Cybil Shepherd

"I was a compulsive, serial masturbator"
- Robert Downey Jnr
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 09.09.08 ISSUE 417
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to

* Celebrity Stupids: Leon X Factor
* Sadie Frost is being touched
* Charts: Pink is number one

>> Madonna's milk <<
Sean Penn starts to understand women

Sean Penn has hot Oscar buzz for his portrayal
of gay politician Harvey Milk in Milk. Our
source on the set claims that after a kissing
scene Penn called his ex-wife, Madonna, and
left her a message saying that he now
understood her a little better.

Watch trailer - film looks great:

Alex James apparently had a bowl of spinach and pasta
dumped on him by an unhappy contestant at a recent
awards show after referring to them as "ugly bugly".

>> Sadie's back <<
And she's touched for the very first time?

When Jude Law married Sadie Frost she was the
famous actor. Since then Sadie's done little
except be famous by association. First Jude,
then Kate and the Primrose Hill set. Then
the "clothes designing" but as that went
tits up the less said the better.

But all that's about to change - a giant of
British acting is taking to the stage
again! Sadie's getting ready to star in
Touched For The Very First Time, a one-woman
show at Trafalgar Studios, Whitehall. Well,
at least we hope so, as they are still looking
for investors. In the play, Sadie is Lesley.
"Lesley from Manchester is a ‘modern woman’.
Lesley dreams of being best friends with
Madonna. Lesley is an idiot."

Apparently this is "a new high energy one
woman comedic play about ‘The Myth of Modern
Woman’. It asks the question – are women
made to be careerists or are they actually
happiest in a more traditional role?"

We can't wait...

Another celebrity offspring hits the fame trail.
Jethro, son of Nick, Cave has starting modelling.

>> Big Questions <<
What the hotel concierge is asking this week

One Mayfair hotel nicknamed which Hollywood
superstar "Mr Revolving Door", after the
number of girls he was inviting to his
room every night? Maybe he's not gay after all.

Which radio DJ bursts into tears at the
point of orgasm?

Popbitch's favourite Republican strategist:
Mr Joe Gaylord.

>> Censorship 08 <<
BBC deaf to Little Britain USA cuts storm

The first Little Britain USA episode contained
two noteable edits on BBC: the pay-off line to
one sketch, "I love you more than blowjobs", was
heard by American cable viewers as "I love you
more than cumshots", while one sketch - about
two pumped-up, sexually boastful bodybuilders,
Tom and Mark, who drop their towels to reveal
pitifully small genitalia - was cut in its
entirety. No-one would have known if they'd
remembered to change the subtitles. Oops. Some
deaf viewers were unimpressed.

Simon Callow was walking up Camden High St on
Wednesday night "wearing a pin stripe suit and
singing very loudly to himself."

>> Supporting Razorlight <<
Only one band is big enough for support

Razorlight may finally have let all the
adulation and stardom go to their heads.
For their upcoming tour, they've decided
the right supporting act is... Razorlight!

One idea being explored is something similar
to past stunts pulled by Black Crowes and
Foo Fighters. The band go on, posing as
the support, and do a shambolic set before
several crew guys come on - dressed in
overalls and flat caps etc - and hustle them
off. The band then reappear as "themselves"
and do their regular headlining set. They're
rehearsing at Black Island Studios in Acton
and Fortress near Old Street.

No longer a gruesome twosome - Greg Barker and Will
Banks-Blaney? MP Greg is being linked with a
Greek polo player.

>> Poor Patsy <<
Crisis bank has no love for the stars

Even Eastenders stars are affected by the
credit crunch. Patsy Palmer was in the Royal
Bank of Scotland in Brighton this week. She
seemed to be having trouble getting her hard-
earned cash out, Patsy was heard asking the
cashier, "What, nothing's clear at all?
What about my tax account? Shouldn't I be
paid by Bacs by my agent?" She then
spent her time, while it was being sorted,
on the phone, which kept cutting out, as
she tried to instruct someone to "try the
butchers in Hove". A fellow RBS customer
said "It made my day. The cashier was as
unhelpful to her as they usually are to me".

Wasilla was recently named the meth capital of
Alaska, with 42 meth labs busted in a single year.

>> How to lose friends... <<
... and alienate Brazilians

Block Party went to Brazil to perform at
their MTV awards. For some reason the band
decided to mime their hits Talon and Banquet,
which lead to much booing in the auditorium.
Everyone else played live, and locals got
angry, and a bit bemused, that the band had
come all this way and couldn't seem to be
bothered to play live.


Gruesome ex-twosome: Danny (Mr Kelly Brooke) Cipriani
and Danielle (engaged to party-hands Lineker) Bux?

>> Celebrity Stupids pt 82 <<
X Factor winner needs to go to school

X Factor troll Leon has been promoting his
album in Australia. This is what he said
to the Sunday Herald:

"I believe in reincarnation, that when you're
dead you'll be able to look down on people -
come back and haunt them. You watch programmes
like Sixth Sense, with Colin Fry, and he can
pick up stuff that dead people are saying.
The people with the dead relatives look
totally shocked."

What happens if you mix dance, rights and magic from
the stars of Gavin & Stacey? Ask the Secret Policeman:

>> Parlez vous pre-credit crunch? <<
Phrases we won't be hearing for a while

On Silicon Valley, employees who have ridden
the company IPO and made a mint overnight often
fail to come to work for weeks on end. In
the company they are listed as "called in rich".

The word Arctic comes from the ancient Greek
Arktikos, or "country of the great bear".

>> Marco Pierre Right <<
Celebrity chef not cock shock

too_fat_to_skate writes:
"My mam was at a photoshoot at one of Marco
Pierre White's resturants. Marco turned up at
the end of day looking very hassled after a
five-hour divorce settlement hearing, but was
extremely polite and made sure everyone on the
shoot had had a big lunch free-of-charge. And he
stayed out of people's way unless spoken to.
Everyone was amazed about how down-to-earth he
was - and genuinely passionate about food."

Russell Brand spent last Friday evening wandering
around the Francis Bacon Exhibiton "with a
delectable blonde lady."

>> Things that make you go hmm <<
PG porn, tiger cubs, US election betting

Will this safeguard your career from
the recession?

Rolling Stone's next issue has an
interesting feature on John McCain:

To find out everything you need to know
about the US election and make money with
some clever betting moves:

Honolulu zoo has some very cute new
tiger cubs:

Want some lovely Pai organic skincare
products? Sadly we got the link wrong
last week to get your 25% discount.
Use this code - earlybird7511:

Go see Plastic Little tour which
started last night in London:

Latest thing in US is PG Porn. Adult movie
scenarios without the sex. Here's Firefly's
Nathan Fillion not-getting-it-on with porn
star Aria Giovanni:

*** Check out Stewie the anteater eating ice-cream
with a spoon and click on our sponsored ad ***

Monkey waiter:

Geri Halliwell wants to build a huge new house
near Goring on Thames:

>> Chart Predictions <<
New entries/High climbers Sun 12th October

++ Number One
PINK So What

++ Top Ten

++ Top Twenty

++ Top Forty
SNOW PATROL Take Back The City

>> End Bit <<
Stuff about Popbitch

* Email stories, gossip:

* Subscribe or unsubscribe here:

* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.

* Web hosting by:

* Mail by aysabtu

Thanks to: AM, SW, bee, plastiktom, AM, The Earl
of Essex, MM, marcia blaine, SK, CMH, HL, fatlimey,

Old Jokes Home:
A vicar books into a hotel and says to the hotel clerk
"I hope the porn channel is my room is disabled?"
She says "No sir, it's just regular porn. You sick bastard."

Still Bored:
The Sarah Palin Debate Flow Chart:

No comments: