POP

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Amnesty’s famous Secret Policeman’s Ball is back on
4th October! For exclusive podcasts from the likes of
Robin Ince and David Baddiel. See it live at a cinema
near you and go backstage with our live blogger go to:
http://www.protectthehuman.com/ball
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"I'm a huge fan of gays. They love me. I love them.
They consider me kind of a gay icon, which they've
labelled me as." -  Tori Spelling
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POPBITCH           _     _ _
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|_|         |_|  02.09.08 ISSUE 416
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to http://www.popbitch.com

* Gerry Rafferty found in Harrods
* Jordan & Peter v Demi & Ashton
* Charts: Pink is the new number one
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       >> Gerry Rafferty found! <<
       Surprisingly, he's not on Baker St

   Gerry Rafferty is a legend for three things:
   Stealers Wheel, Baker St and boozing. After
   years of hard drinking Rafferty checked himself
   into a London hospital this summer for tests
   on his liver. On 1st August he disappeared,
   leaving all his belongings behind. The
   hospital filed a missing persons report.

   Or did he? Our spies in Harrods drinks department
   claim that one week ago Rafferty bought some
   expensive whisky there...


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Coleen Rooney books cabs under the name Jane Aspinall.
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       >> The unreality show <<
       Ever get the feeling you've been cheated?

   Peter Andre went on TV yesterday morning to
   refute all the "Jordan and Peter to split"
   stories floating around the media. Poor
   Peter, it must be hard to know who your
   friends are sometimes. There have been some
   internal discussions at OK!, the magazine that
   pays Jordan handsomely to wibble on about
   anything she wants, about getting the pair to
   split, so they can have a "my split hell" series
   of covers. Then get them back together. Just
   imagine the sales for "our remarriage joy" edition!


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Courtney Love is buying a 2.3 million GBP house in
Marlow. The 5 bed, 4 bathroom riverside home
comes with its own boat house.
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       >> Ginger nuts <<
       Geri Halliwell likes Mamas and Papas

   Emma Bunton, when pregnant, modelled for Mamas
   and Papas, the cutesy maternity and baby store.
   On finding this out, the ever-competitive
   Ginger Spice, Geri Halliwell, thought that maybe,
   as a celebrity mum herself, she would also be
   the kind of brand ambassador that the store was
   looking for. So Geri started to visit the shops
   and, coincidentally, always seemed to get snapped
   by a photographer when she was there. Eventually,
   Mamas and Papas received a call from one of Geri's
   people saying that as Geri was bringing them so
   much great press from being seen at the stores,
   maybe they'd like to formalise their relationship,
   like they had with Baby Spice? Mamas and Papas
   execs were a little unnerved at the whole
   experience and didn't end up taking Geri up
   on her kind offer.


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Dirk Kuyt was the air guitar champion of Holland
for four years running.
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       >> Is this Love?  <<
       Probably yes, so it seems

   Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have been living
   in Chicago. We're told Demi "looks really,
   really old. You can see her all frown lines
   without her makeup on. And because her skin is
   so pale, the wrinkles on her neck are accentuated,
   especially when she smiles." And yet, refreshingly,
   in an industry filled with fake relationships
   and looks-based paranoia this doesn't seem to
   trouble Demi or Ashton. The couple, we're told
   were very down to earth, popular with people they
   came across, and genuinely seemed to be a very
   happy and loving couple.


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Keane's singer Tom Chaplin's booze addiction was port.
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        >> Big Questions <<
     What people are asking this week

   Which European acting beauty is suffering
   from huge skin problems? Too many chemical
   peels have left her skin scaly and dry like
   sandpaper, and magazines are finding the
   touching-up of her photos increasingly hard.

   Which LA-based Brit celebrity has had so much
   botox and restylane filler around the mouth,
   she's got dozens of tiny but noticeable
   pin-holes above her lips?


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Will Young was a pub in Portobello Rd this week
"getting very cosy with a very pouty guy who had
on a LOT of fake tan".
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       >> The world's your oyster  <<
       Business guru doesn't use tube much, shock

kaulquappe writes:
   "Lord Adair Turner was on Newsnight this week
   talking about the financial crisis. Cool and
   calm, I thought - and well-prepared to help
   fight the good fight for us proles. And then
   I remembered my mate at the FSA, who'd met him
   during a tour of the offices a few weeks ago,
   when our good Lord revealed he had no idea
   what an Oyster card was. Hey-ho."


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Interesting that the new MTV show where Kerry Katona
gets her nawks out is named after Atomic Kitten's hit,
Whole Again, as the band re-recorded the record before
its release purely to get rid of Katona's vocals.
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       >> Apprentice update  <<
       Winner Lee still a fuckwit

relief_organist writes:
   "Mr r_o was on Buckingham Gate last Friday morning.
   Across the road from a cafe he noticed one of
   two men at a breakfast table doing 'that squawking
   act, like that fuckwit from the Apprentice'.
   Getting closer he noticed it was, in fact,
   Lee McQueen, that fuckwit from The Apprentice."


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Popbitch's favourite defence correspondent:
James Blitz, of the Financial Times.
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       >> Word of the day: Outlier <<
       Book & talk of the month: Malcolm Gladwell

    In statistics, an outlier is an observation that is
    numerically distant from the rest of the data which
    will affect the results. For example: if you want
    to calculate the average temperature of 10 objects   
    in a room, and all but one are between 20-25 degrees
    but an oven is at 350 degrees, then the oven will
    distort the mean result. This is an outlier.

    Malcolm Gladwell, the genius who brought the concept
    of the "Tipping Point" to everyday conversation, has
    a new book out called Outliers. But it is about
    the special characteristics of people who are
    incredibly successful: human outliers, we guess.
    He's coming to London on 24th November and has a special
    ticket offer to Popbitch readers for his talk.
    Join us and find out why people from Texas have
    better manners than people from Chicago, how
    Korean pilots went from being the worst in the world
    to amongst the best in under 10 years, why
    most successful ice-hockey players are born
    in January and other stuff.

Tickets and info:
http://www.ticketmaster.co.uk/promo/dcxbyf


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The General Manager of Birmingham Sealife Centre
is called Ian Crabbe
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       >>  Chateau correction  <<
       Monty Walden still makes wine

Monty Walden writes:    
   "Following your story last week I'd like to
   correct it. My career as a vineyard owner never
   even got started - I rented vineyards, as I didn't
   have the money to buy one. With the world in
   global financial meltdown I think I took the right
   decision, and saved enough money to be able to
   rent five times as many vineyards in 2008.
   Here are the numbers - in 2007 I rented 2.2 hectares
   (about 5 acres) of red wine vines (the vineyard
   that was filmed for the Chateau Monty TV series),
   this year I have rented around five times that
   amount to make red, white and pink wine - and
   there are no TV cameras to follow me."


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The temperature at which an object stops becoming
magnetic is called the Curie Point.
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       >> Things that make you go hmm <<
      Swedish chef, Match Cash, dog poo
      
   Here's an early Christmas present for Popbitch
   readers: £20 off food and drink at any Match Bar
http://www.matchbar.com/eFlyeruk.html

  The business of dog poo
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/09/18/dog_poop_dna_database/

   How to talk like Swedish Chef:
http://tinyurl.com/4kbb29

  Chemical habit? Your skin won't thank you for it.
  Pai organic skincare has lined up a great new
  range to help. 20% off with code "popbitch".
http://www.paiskincare.com

   Sponsored video - Doritos animal wrestling:
http://popbitch.com



       >> Chart Predictions <<
       New entries/High climbers Sun 5th October


++ Number One
PINK So What

++ Top Ten
OASIS The Shock Of The Lightning
BOYZONE I Love You Anyway

++ Top Twenty
BASSHUNTER Angel In The Night

++ Top Forty
GABRIELLA CILMI Sweet Like Me


     >> End Bit <<
     Stuff about Popbitch

* Email stories, gossip:
hello@popbitch.com

* Subscribe or unsubscribe here:
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* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.

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* Mail by aysabtu

* How to Lose Friends and Alienate People is
in cinemas today. You can do the same
from the comfort of your own desk with this app:
http://apps.facebook.com/antisocialnetworking/index.php


*****************************************************
Thanks to: AM, SW, majorbloodnok, onthehushhush,
J_A_I_H, deep_stoat, theabominablehoman, plastiktom,
leo, lm, PM
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Old Jokes Home:
Q: Whats the difference between Gordon Ramsey
and a cross country run?

A: One is a pant in the country, the other is a...


Still Bored:
For anyone who missed today's Joe Kinnear interview.
Genius. Absolutely genius.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2008/oct/03/newcastleunited.premierleague