Saturday, October 04, 2008


Amnesty’s famous Secret Policeman’s Ball is back on
4th October! For exclusive podcasts from the likes of
Robin Ince and David Baddiel. See it live at a cinema
near you and go backstage with our live blogger go to:

"I'm a huge fan of gays. They love me. I love them.
They consider me kind of a gay icon, which they've
labelled me as." - Tori Spelling
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| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 02.09.08 ISSUE 416
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to

* Gerry Rafferty found in Harrods
* Jordan & Peter v Demi & Ashton
* Charts: Pink is the new number one

>> Gerry Rafferty found! <<
Surprisingly, he's not on Baker St

Gerry Rafferty is a legend for three things:
Stealers Wheel, Baker St and boozing. After
years of hard drinking Rafferty checked himself
into a London hospital this summer for tests
on his liver. On 1st August he disappeared,
leaving all his belongings behind. The
hospital filed a missing persons report.

Or did he? Our spies in Harrods drinks department
claim that one week ago Rafferty bought some
expensive whisky there...

Coleen Rooney books cabs under the name Jane Aspinall.

>> The unreality show <<
Ever get the feeling you've been cheated?

Peter Andre went on TV yesterday morning to
refute all the "Jordan and Peter to split"
stories floating around the media. Poor
Peter, it must be hard to know who your
friends are sometimes. There have been some
internal discussions at OK!, the magazine that
pays Jordan handsomely to wibble on about
anything she wants, about getting the pair to
split, so they can have a "my split hell" series
of covers. Then get them back together. Just
imagine the sales for "our remarriage joy" edition!

Courtney Love is buying a 2.3 million GBP house in
Marlow. The 5 bed, 4 bathroom riverside home
comes with its own boat house.

>> Ginger nuts <<
Geri Halliwell likes Mamas and Papas

Emma Bunton, when pregnant, modelled for Mamas
and Papas, the cutesy maternity and baby store.
On finding this out, the ever-competitive
Ginger Spice, Geri Halliwell, thought that maybe,
as a celebrity mum herself, she would also be
the kind of brand ambassador that the store was
looking for. So Geri started to visit the shops
and, coincidentally, always seemed to get snapped
by a photographer when she was there. Eventually,
Mamas and Papas received a call from one of Geri's
people saying that as Geri was bringing them so
much great press from being seen at the stores,
maybe they'd like to formalise their relationship,
like they had with Baby Spice? Mamas and Papas
execs were a little unnerved at the whole
experience and didn't end up taking Geri up
on her kind offer.

Dirk Kuyt was the air guitar champion of Holland
for four years running.

>> Is this Love? <<
Probably yes, so it seems

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have been living
in Chicago. We're told Demi "looks really,
really old. You can see her all frown lines
without her makeup on. And because her skin is
so pale, the wrinkles on her neck are accentuated,
especially when she smiles." And yet, refreshingly,
in an industry filled with fake relationships
and looks-based paranoia this doesn't seem to
trouble Demi or Ashton. The couple, we're told
were very down to earth, popular with people they
came across, and genuinely seemed to be a very
happy and loving couple.

Keane's singer Tom Chaplin's booze addiction was port.

>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week

Which European acting beauty is suffering
from huge skin problems? Too many chemical
peels have left her skin scaly and dry like
sandpaper, and magazines are finding the
touching-up of her photos increasingly hard.

Which LA-based Brit celebrity has had so much
botox and restylane filler around the mouth,
she's got dozens of tiny but noticeable
pin-holes above her lips?

Will Young was a pub in Portobello Rd this week
"getting very cosy with a very pouty guy who had
on a LOT of fake tan".

>> The world's your oyster <<
Business guru doesn't use tube much, shock

kaulquappe writes:
"Lord Adair Turner was on Newsnight this week
talking about the financial crisis. Cool and
calm, I thought - and well-prepared to help
fight the good fight for us proles. And then
I remembered my mate at the FSA, who'd met him
during a tour of the offices a few weeks ago,
when our good Lord revealed he had no idea
what an Oyster card was. Hey-ho."

Interesting that the new MTV show where Kerry Katona
gets her nawks out is named after Atomic Kitten's hit,
Whole Again, as the band re-recorded the record before
its release purely to get rid of Katona's vocals.

>> Apprentice update <<
Winner Lee still a fuckwit

relief_organist writes:
"Mr r_o was on Buckingham Gate last Friday morning.
Across the road from a cafe he noticed one of
two men at a breakfast table doing 'that squawking
act, like that fuckwit from the Apprentice'.
Getting closer he noticed it was, in fact,
Lee McQueen, that fuckwit from The Apprentice."

Popbitch's favourite defence correspondent:
James Blitz, of the Financial Times.

>> Word of the day: Outlier <<
Book & talk of the month: Malcolm Gladwell

In statistics, an outlier is an observation that is
numerically distant from the rest of the data which
will affect the results. For example: if you want
to calculate the average temperature of 10 objects
in a room, and all but one are between 20-25 degrees
but an oven is at 350 degrees, then the oven will
distort the mean result. This is an outlier.

Malcolm Gladwell, the genius who brought the concept
of the "Tipping Point" to everyday conversation, has
a new book out called Outliers. But it is about
the special characteristics of people who are
incredibly successful: human outliers, we guess.
He's coming to London on 24th November and has a special
ticket offer to Popbitch readers for his talk.
Join us and find out why people from Texas have
better manners than people from Chicago, how
Korean pilots went from being the worst in the world
to amongst the best in under 10 years, why
most successful ice-hockey players are born
in January and other stuff.

Tickets and info:

The General Manager of Birmingham Sealife Centre
is called Ian Crabbe

>> Chateau correction <<
Monty Walden still makes wine

Monty Walden writes:
"Following your story last week I'd like to
correct it. My career as a vineyard owner never
even got started - I rented vineyards, as I didn't
have the money to buy one. With the world in
global financial meltdown I think I took the right
decision, and saved enough money to be able to
rent five times as many vineyards in 2008.
Here are the numbers - in 2007 I rented 2.2 hectares
(about 5 acres) of red wine vines (the vineyard
that was filmed for the Chateau Monty TV series),
this year I have rented around five times that
amount to make red, white and pink wine - and
there are no TV cameras to follow me."

The temperature at which an object stops becoming
magnetic is called the Curie Point.

>> Things that make you go hmm <<
Swedish chef, Match Cash, dog poo

Here's an early Christmas present for Popbitch
readers: £20 off food and drink at any Match Bar

The business of dog poo

How to talk like Swedish Chef:

Chemical habit? Your skin won't thank you for it.
Pai organic skincare has lined up a great new
range to help. 20% off with code "popbitch".

Sponsored video - Doritos animal wrestling:

>> Chart Predictions <<
New entries/High climbers Sun 5th October

++ Number One
PINK So What

++ Top Ten
OASIS The Shock Of The Lightning
BOYZONE I Love You Anyway

++ Top Twenty
BASSHUNTER Angel In The Night

++ Top Forty

>> End Bit <<
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* How to Lose Friends and Alienate People is
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Thanks to: AM, SW, majorbloodnok, onthehushhush,
J_A_I_H, deep_stoat, theabominablehoman, plastiktom,
leo, lm, PM

Old Jokes Home:
Q: Whats the difference between Gordon Ramsey
and a cross country run?

A: One is a pant in the country, the other is a...

Still Bored:
For anyone who missed today's Joe Kinnear interview.
Genius. Absolutely genius.

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