Popebitch

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like worrying about underarm sweat. Use Sharp Focus,
the latest anti-perspirant in the Lynx Dry range,
and your 'pits will stay desert-dry and smelling
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http://tinyurl.com/6jzojk

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"I do like reading the Bible" -  Jennifer Lopez

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POPBITCH           _     _ _
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|_|         |_|   24.07.08 ISSUE 407
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to http://www.popbitch.com

* Giles Coren loves Sub-Editors
* Penis Knightley and Lez-Fest
* Charts: McFly are number one
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       >> Dark humour <<
       Joker laughs at bat AIDS

   During the filming of The Dark Knight
   Heath Ledger kept a notebook to help him get
   in character, detailing all the things that
   he felt the Joker would find funny.

   The first entry:  AIDS.


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Five missing feet washed up on the shores of British
Columbia - good story. Local coroner dealing with
called Randy Gaylord -  better story.
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     >> Big Questions <<
     What people are asking this week

   Which member of Madness enjoyed making the
   most of his tour hotel facilities? On one
   trip abroad his tour crew saw him leaving
   reception with a bulging suitcase, so asked
   him to open up and show them what was in
   there. They found piles of hotel towels
   hidden inside, but wrapped in the towels
   was a marble elephant statue.

   Which member of the legal shenanigans
   surrounding the Max Mosley spanking case was
   known as "Flogger" at his boarding school?


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"Paps win prizes! Show your paparazzi skills, party
antics and share mobile pics. Send them directly to
all your mates' mobile phones with NOWTHEN for the
cost of just one MMS. Prizes for pics here:
http://www.nowthen.com/popbitch
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       >> Popebitch <<
       Get on a three-year-old in Sydney

   Over the last couple of weeks Sydney has been
   over-run with Catholic pilgrims and priests
   following the Pope on his visit.

   The main event was a huge mass at Randwick
   racecourse. So why did the Catholic Church
   choose a venue linked with vices like
   gambling and drinking? Well, they were told
   it was the only place in the city where it
   was legal to ride a three-year-old.


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Stuart Cable (mum's name: Mabel Cable) can change
a motorbike tyre in 56 minutes.
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       >> Beck v Kennedy  <<
       Popbitch: down with the kids
    
   Jeff Beck and Nigel Kennedy have been rehearsing
   together. Kennedy is in awe of Beck and the
   pair are looking at doing possible gigs and
   recordings together. Finally, something to
   save the music industry.  

FYI: Nigel Kennedy now lives in Poland.


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Lovebox Festival spot - "Chloe Sevigny jostling
other punters on a promotional bus for free booze
in a surprisingly undignified manner".

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       >> Har Marvellous wine <<
       Little Italy has good sommelier
    
   Har Mar Superstar was eating in Little Italy,
   Soho with some music industry types. He drank a
   glass of red wine and said it was so nice he
   wanted them to write the name of the bottle
   down. They did. "House red".
    


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Spotted at a beach cafe in Camp de Mar, Mallorca...
the singer in Scooter. "He was alone, ate a burger
and chips, drank a can of coke and smoked two fags."

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          >> Vile Pervert Terror threat <<
          Jonathan King in trouble again


   Jonathan King was spotted in Nice airport
   going through security. Alarms were set
   off and guards found a big metal bullet-
   shaped  object in his bag. So was The
   Sun's favourite pervert aiding the war
   on terror? Well, it turned out that
   it was an old coin-keeper that his
   recently deceased mother owned that JK
   kept as a souvenir. Sadly, security didn't
   care for the sentimental story and it went
   straight in the bin.
  

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OK! to Peter Andre: "What do you always Sky+?"
Peter Andre: "It sounds cheesy, but Katie
And Peter: The Next Chapter."

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       >> Penis Knightley and Lez-Fest <<
       Balham Station phantom grafitti artist

   In Atonement Keira Knightley's character dies
   when Balham tube station is bombed during the
   Blitz. In reality, a plaque to commemorate the
   actual bombing is still visible on the tube
   platform. Next to it is a poster for Keira's
   latest film, The Edge of Love. Spooky.

   Yet one irreverent wag has decided to graffiti
   the poster. Keira has a penis on her face
   And what is written on castmate Sienna
   Miller? Lez-fest.
  
See:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/28912388@N06/2698513720/in/photostream/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/28912388@N06/2697696225/in/photostream/


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Forty tranny tourists were arrested in Dubai last
week and are being deported.
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       >> Where's Natalie? <<
       And all the dead people in Belgium

    When Brian Jonestown Massacre left London after
    their singer put their guitarist in hospital
    with minor stab wounds, they rocked up at Dour
    Festival in Belgium.  While the band's PR machine
    was claiming it was just "horseplay" singer Anton
    Newcombe arrived on his own. He had to be picked up
    and driven to the festival - and from the artists
    area to the stage - in a different shuttle bus as the
    rest of the band refused to be anywhere near him.
    He spent the festival on his own, "lamenting the
    amount of dead people in Belgium".

    Of more interest to press was the news that
    Natalie Portman was on the guest list. They
    swarmed around the press entrance for hours,
    to the bemusement of ex-Sneaker Pimp Chris
    Corner, from IAMX, who had invited a girl
    to meet him there called Natalie. He couldn't
    remember her surname, so had guessed at Portman
    because it sounded familiar.



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Dragon's Den's Deborah Meaden (a noted pianist) was on
BBC2's First Night Of The Proms saying that she would
"find it difficult to handle a new organ for every
performance." Fnar. Sorry.
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       >> Things that make you go hmm <<
       Statler & Waldorf, Hollywood Bowl, Calum Best

   In case you haven't yet seen these, another
   two reasons to hate Giles Coren, he's
   provided two here - letters to the subs desk
   on The Times:
http://popbitch.com/promotion/

   Did we wake up in 1992 again? The charts are full
   of bland r&b inflected pop, identikit indie and
   dated Euro happy hardcore. This is our current
   favourite song: Little Boots - Meddle:
http://2www.myspace.com/littlebootsmusic

   Statler and Waldorf have their own
   youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=waldorf+and+statler

   All the stars hang out in Watford - Holby
   City's Louisa Bradshaw-White and family,
   plus Paul Gascoigne and Bianca seen hanging
   out here on the same day!

http://www.hollywoodbowl.co.uk/

    Kickstart your career with a homemade sex
   tape. Even if the agents don't come knocking
   you'll still get paid every time it's watched:
http://www.watchme.com

    Nice monkey paintings:
http://picasaweb.google.com/ajanus/MonkeyPaintings

    Waste some office time - which egg will hatch first?
http://www.eggycam.com

    Ibiza’s a strange one this year but this new
    magazine from Mixmag and the people behind Sosho,
    and the Match Bar in Ibiza, reminds us it's still
    one of the best places for fun on the planet:
http://tinyurl.com/5f3zq7

    Big Chill, 1-3 August - probably the last time
    you'll get to see Leonard Cohen sing in a field:
http://www.bigchill.net

    Calum Best has a tedious new TV show. All you need to
    see are these bits:
http://www.popbitch.com


   >> Chart Predictions <<
   New entries/High climbers Sun 27th July

++ Number One
DIZZEE RASCAL Dance Wiv Me


++ Top Ten
GABRIELLA CILMI Sweet About Me

++ Top Twenty
ADELE Hometown Glory

++ Top Forty
IDA MARIE I Like You So Much Better When You're
USHER Moving Mountains


     >> End Bit <<
     Stuff about Popbitch

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Thanks to: AM, SW, LB, LT, Noam, flobbit, becksbird,
gordonsalive, honk, glimmertwin, rockit99, flobbit,
Poppy, CS, SW, danceswithmustelids, P, kidvampire,

THANKS: to everyone who came or supported our
cricket day in some way. We're still counting but
so far we raised a few thousand pounds:
including:
Brains Brewery -  for the lovely 45 continental beer
http://www.vitaminwater.co.uk
Barbecue meats provided by Hensons Foodservice, one
of London's top restaurant suppliers
Great sandwiches by:
http://www.freshnaturallyorganic.co.uk

Thanks for the cookies and smoothies:
http://www.hellosweetbird.com
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Q: What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
A: Dr Dre.


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