Thursday, April 03, 2008

Black dog

Popbitch was a huge fan of Josh Schwartz's The O.C.
and McG's Fastlane. They've come together to make
Chuck, an action comedy about an ordinary geek who,
somehow, gets the CIA's biggest spy secrets
downloaded to his brain. We'll be watching:
Chuck, starts Monday 7th April, 10pm, Virgin1

"There is no song that can capture the loss that
we have in our hearts." - the family of the late
R&B singer Sean Levert
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| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
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|_| |_| 03.04.08 ISSUE 392
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* Bono's boots in Imax 3D
* Richard and Judy - “rabbit-like”
* Charts: Estelle is number one

>> National treasures <<
They don't make footballers like they used to

In the 1970s the Grand National, as an event, was
dying. We all remember it as halcyon days, with
Red Rum winning three times. But in 1977, when
Rummie won his third race, fewer than 10,000
spectators were there. The race has been
resurrected, in 2007, the crowd was 68,000. Back
then Aintree was owned by an eccentric old lady,
Mirabel Topham, with Ladbrokes having the
thankless task of managing it for her. One
poor chap was sent up to the course and given a
scruffy office with a couple of desks and phones
and told to sort out tickets, sponsors, hospitality
- the lot. The only way he got through it was with
help from a surprising source. Every day, after
football training finished at Liverpool, Emlyn
Hughes and Terry McDermott, big horse racing
fans, came over with a crate of beer and got on
the phones to make the sales calls. Somehow you
can't quite imagine Torres and Kewell doing it.

FYI: The best deal for the National is with Betfair
When you bet 25 quid, they give you 25 quid free!

Livesey Museum for Children has been shut by Southwark
Council. Rio and Anton Ferdinand's mum is a big
supporter, so Southwark residents are hoping the
footballers get behind the campaign to keep it open.

>> Short Cuts <<
Bono's boots look odd at the Imax

hanuman writes:
“I went to see that U2 in 3D film at the Imax.
Obviously the thing about Imax is that everything
is in focus and huge so you tend to notice
details not picked up on normal film. Such as
what appeared to be an extra inch-and-a-half
on the bottom of Bono's boots...”

Ban's Dive Resort, where Princess Beatrice has been
learning, has a special scuba course-passing ritual.
You wear a mask and snorkel with funnel attached,
and spirits are poured in until you say “stop”.

>> Big Questions <<
What are people asking this week

Which Eastenders star has developed such a
close attachment to the bottles you'd find
behind the bar of the Queen Vic that she's
a regular guest at her local branch of AA?

Spotted this week in Tesco, Epping: Jade Goody
“reading the front covers of the weekly magazines”.

>> RIP: Tallulah <<
London loses a legend

Popbitch lost a wonderful friend this week.
DJ Tallulah was a London legend, and at the
forefront of the gay club scene for more than
30 years. He discovered clubbing when he met
a queen in a Piccadilly Circus toilet in 1964
who asked him if he wanted to know what people
did after dark. He was taken to Le Deuce,
a gay mod club on D'Arblay St. Tallulah, aka
Martin Allam, never looked back. From
friendships with Joe Orton and Kenneth Williams
to DJing in the heyday of Studio 54 to
residencies at Shadow Lounge, Heaven and
Substation Soho, Tallulah showed the world
there was a way for to be gay and grow old
gracefully. He was an early supporter of
Popbitch and headlined our infamous Explode!
party. We'll always remember that moment
when he dropped the 12” of Electric Dreams
into his disco set...

Our favourite story involved Tallulah's love of
trade. One night he brought home a rough East End
boy. The young man suggested that they dress up.
Excited, Tallulah screamed “yes!”, and ran off to
his bedroom. He emerged minutes later in a
sequinned, taffeta ballgown. The callow youth
looked up shocked and muttered, “I was thinking
briefs or jockeys?”

FYI: Enjoy the celebratory funeral records:
The overture of Gypsy!
Diana Ross' The Boss:

FYI 2: An interview:

richjohnston writes: “Les Dennis cheated on his first
wife with Ace off of Doctor Who? I wonder if she
used her metal baseball bat on him...”

>> Marital monkey business <<
TV couple - at it like rabbits?

Dispatches from a hotel in Kent. A reader says
he struggled to get any sleep because of the
noise made by the couple in the next room.
The headboard was, apparently, banging against the
wall for hours. The guest asked at reception to
change rooms but when he went back to get his stuff
he came face to face with his amorous neighbours
... Richard and Judy!

We tipped the Cheltenham Gold Cup top three (but some-
how failed to win a penny.) Our Grand National e/w tips
Slim Pickings “third last year”, King Johns Castle
“interesting Irish contender” D'Argent “good outsider”
Betfair, 20% better odds, and that 25 quid bonus bet:

>> Celebrity Penis Watch <<
News from Nottingham urinals

Our East Midlands correspondent tells us:

Har Mar Superstar - “nowhere near as big as
he lets on. Those pants he wears must be stuffed.”

Alex Kapranos - “Average. Like his band.”

Steve Lamacq - “Radio face. Tiny cock.”
“Prince William was in Nottingham recently
doing some boozing. Am very sorry but I missed
this opportunity to see a Prince's penis.”

Blazin' Squad update pt 2 - DJ Tommy B works in the
office service department at Virgin Media TV. “He's
very good with a power drill”. Melo-D and MC Platinum.
work at PPL, in the music licensing department.

>> Dogging Merkel <<
Crafty Putin's puppy power play

German premier Angela Merkel mentioned to
Vladimir Putin, on their first meeting, that
she had a phobia about dogs. So what did the
crafty Russian do? He made a point of bringing
his Labrador, Koni, to every single meeting
he had with her. Obviously she's over the
moon that Dmitri Medvedev has cats.

Photo: Merkel with Koni:

Fear of the week: batrachophobia.
Fear of frogs and toads.

>> Pumpkins Down Under <<
Corgan prepares a heart-stopping show

Smashing Pumpkins have just done a show in
Australia for MTV. Singer Billy Corgan requested
for his rider a defibrillator and an ambulance.
And crew claim they weren't allowed to walk in
his line of sight while he was playing.

Lily Allen's new material is said to be “dance-
oriented”. (Her TV show's re-commissioning was on 1st
April. BBC staff thought it was an April Fools joke.)

>> Oops! <<
Live by the sword... is the website that came to
everyone's attention when it elected to host
Ken Bigley execution videos. It recently hosted
Geert Wilders' anti-Islam film, Fitna. The site
started getting death threats from Islamic
extremists. It took only about 12 hours for
Liveleak to take it down. They then got death
threats from the far-right, accusing them of
being pro-terrorist. So they put it back up.

Beyonce and Jay-Z to marry in Manhattan tomorrow?

>> Things that make you go hmm <<
Elephants, dogs, Great Horned Owls

As exciting as watching clothes dry:

Elephants are the new chimps - this fella's
trunk is amazing! Watch him paint. It's
worth the 8 minutes:

Want a dog but don't have the time? Try timeshare:

Some of the best dating videos

Thompson Rivers University Campus, Kamloops,
British Caledonia, Canada. Great horned owls
nesting in their trees. So they set up
Owlcam. It's hypnotic:

Baghdad's music and ballet school is,
surprisingly, going strong:

It¹s the REAL thing. Now that the sun is
shining, fresh Tees from Real Real Genuine:²

>> Chart Predictions <<
New entries/High climbers Sun 06th April

++ Number One

++ Top Ten
ALPHABEAT Fascination
THE KOOKS Always Where I Need To Be

++ Top Twenty
COURTEENERS Not Nineteen Forever
PANIC AT THE DISCO Nine In The Afternoon

>> End Bit <<
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Thanks to: AM, dollymixture, LT, SW, WB, DC, party_b,
thirsty_panda, DS, lady Sybil, E, HL, W, C, G,
danceswithmustelids, Spooks, onthehushhush, SW

* And Patrick Lilley and Purplepiepete for help
with the Tallulah RIP story.

Old Jokes Home:
Q: Did you hear about the bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake came out of the girl.

Still Bored:
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