Slow Gossip Day

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“Psychiatry doesn't work. When you study the
effects, it's a crime against humanity” - Tom Cruise

“I was like the Miley Cyrus of my
generation” - Debbie Gibson
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POPBITCH           _     _ _
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| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
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|_|         |_|   24.01.08 ISSUE 382
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to http://www.popbitch.com

* Farewell Alan Ledger
* Madonna v The Ivy
* Charts: Adele V Basshunter for number one
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       >> Beckhamwatch <<
       Thick 'n' thin chill out

   David and Victoria Beckham were at Three Mills
   studios in East London  this week filming promos
   for their perfume. In the breaks between scenes
   David sat in his Bentley while Victoria sat in
   her Mercedes. Even celebrity couples need
   “me” time, it seems.


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Authorities in in Bangalore have banned dancing in
nightclubs. People have to just sit around while the
DJ plays music, as police are sent to check up.
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       >> She's in parties <<
       Madonna versus The Ivy?

   The Hilton on Park Lane looks to be re-
   launching its basement bar, Zeta, as a new
   private members club. Insiders claim that
   Piers Adam and his cohorts from Mahiki
   will be taking it on. And the rumour
   is they'll have a very special partner
   in this venture. Madonna. (Piers, of course
   was Guy Ritchie's best man...)

   London's going to need something special
   to take on Richard Caring's growing empire.
   The owner of the Ivy group and Annabels this
   week bought up the Soho House chain. And
   this Spring opens a private members club
   above the Ivy. Which one will you join?


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Men in England and Wales are twice as likely to die
as a result of having a foreign object in their anus
as they are through being struck by lightning.
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     >> Big Questions <<
     What people are asking this week

   One of London's most famous nightclubs
   in the 70s and 80s had a secret VIP sex
   room and dungeon. Someone who worked
   there says he has a film of which
   well-endowed Royal shagging his male friend?

   The daughter of which film director caused
   such a scene at the Garden and Grill Thai
   Restaurant in Notting Hill, (“do you know
   who my father is?”, glass smashing,
   crying “I hate all men”) that staff gave
   all other diners a free drink to say sorry?


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Kristen DeGroat from Michigan placed a advert in her
local paper to sell a horse, but it was mistakenly
put in the section "Good Things to Eat".
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       >> Farewell Keith Fletcher <<
       Readers reminisce about Heath

Lady X writes:
   “I met Heath Ledger in a bar of a hotel
   in Melbourne about four years ago. He
   was instantly recognisable, but he insisted
   on introducing himself as 'Keith Fletcher'
   to everyone”.

bloodydoorsoff writes:
   “When Heath was dating Heather Graham they
   turned up at the Prince Bonaparte pub for
   Sunday lunch. They sat down and waited for
   table service (you order at the bar) and
   waited and waited and waited. Eventually
   they left, without sustenance.”

celtiagirl writes:
   “I met Heath a few times. Sweet boy.
   Once he gave me a ball-by-ball recreation
   of a big Aussie cricket match. And according
   to a slutty chum (NOT ME), he was of average
   build, no more but not much less. Noisy
   too and a sloppy kisser.”


FYI: Heath and his sister were named after the
two main characters in Wuthering Heights.

FYI 2: The lovely christians of Westboro church
are planning to attend Ledger's funeral:
http://www.godhatesamerica.com/


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We hear Kate Moss is thinking of signing up to be in
a UK rom-com movie. One of her entourage said
“It'll be like Garbo talks”. Or not.
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       >> Readers letters  <<
      Say sorry to a star through popbitch

80s pop fan writes:
   “I'd just broken up with a boyfriend and
   gone for commiseration drinks at Julies
   in Notting Hill with friends. I got tearful
   so hid in the toilets. A pregnant Stella
   McCartney came in while I was standing by
   the sinks. When she came out of the cubicle
   I was still there so she asked me if I was OK.
   I started crying and told her everything about
   my break-up. She stayed listening to me and
   cheering me up for ages. It started to feel
   like we were old friends. So I reached out
   and groped her stomach and said 'Oh look
   you've got a little baby in there!'

   “Stella froze. I realised I'd totally crossed
   the line and she mumbled goodbye and left.
   'So I just want to say - 'Sorry Stella'.”

Do you need to apologise to a celebrity?
email hello@popbitch.com


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New and tiresome marketing wheeze: Taxi Driver
Marketing. Firms are paying some cabbies to talk up
their products, brands or venues to their fares.
-----------------------------------------------------


       >> How to get through January <<
        Surviving winter with style - part 2

   1. Book your flight to Gobbler's Knob.
   It's only one week til Groundhog Day:
http://www.groundhog.org/info/

   2. You've probably forgotten Let Loose and
   Crazy For You, but it sounds fantastic:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdTnPhLch_4

   3. Go to the Serengeti and find a honey badger.
   (Ruben from Madorea Safaris is the best guide
   in the world and will sort out all your trip):
http://www.madoreasafaris.com

   4. Check out Yoav's cheekbones:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_GbUWnx7Lk

   5. HBO launches its big new show, In
   Treatment, next week. And with the writer's
   strike it's probably the only big show
   coming up. It's on five nights a week,
   each day features a different psychiatry
   patient and it's awesome.
http://www.hbo.com/intreatment/

   6. Get the Freaks & Geeks DVD set, and see
   why it's the most important TV series of the
   21st Century:
http://www.amazon.com/Freaks-Geeks-Complete/dp/B0001EQHXO


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An Olsen twin spotted at Greenwich Village sushi haunt
Tomoe. She ate and drank beer (so probably not Mary
Kate). Her manfriend asked “Are mushrooms healthy?”
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      >> Take this and party <<
      Are you working-class eye candy?

   Nigel Martin-Smith put Take That together. He's
   trawling for a new band “that will eventually
   perform/sing hip-hop and uplifting house”.

   He's looking for boys aged 16-23 -
   “'Eye candy' - working class, tattooed, a
   bit of rough trade...”

   “He doesn't need to be able to sing at this
   stage. Working-class lad who's sailed close
   to the wind or worse but come through it...
   Might be a boxer but definitely inner-city.
   Think a Jody Latham.”

   We can't wait.


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Popbitch's favourite named Green city councillor:
Brighton's Jason Kitcat.
-----------------------------------------------------


       >> New Year's hell <<
       Jeremy Clarkson brought a donkey

   There's never a suicide bomber around when
   you need one... At one New Year's Eve
   party in the Cotswolds guests included
   Rebekah Wade, The Camerons, Bob Geldof,
   AA Gill and Jeremy Clarkson.

   Dave the Rave Cameron spent much of the
   evening on the dancefloor, telling people
   his tunes of the night were Sugarhill Gang's
   Rapper's Delight and rare groove classic
   Funky Nassau's Beginning of the End. His
   missus Samantha asked the DJ to play
   Blue Boy's Remember Me.

   Jeremy Clarkson brought an unusual Christmas
   gift for the host - a donkey.


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Eddie Murphy brought his mother on his recent
honeymoon with ex-bride Tracey Edmonds.
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       >> McNorads <<
       America's weirdest burger bar

N writes:
   “I went to NORAD in the 90's. Inside the
   mountain there was a shopping area with a
   barbers and a branch of McDonalds.
   Sadly the he main control room was a bit
   dull with just tiny TV's. It was nothing
   like War Games!”


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This is the most miserable week of the year, say
scientists. Brighten it up with OSOYOU.com's pick of
the new season's acid brights.
http://www.osoyou.com/lists/415.publisha?utm_source=popbitch
*****************************************************


       >> Things that make you go hmm <<
       Angels, lesbian builder, polar bears

   The best ever Idol act? Try Angels For
   Ever, on Danish Pop Idol. Mentally
   challeneged twins with ADHD:
http://www.popbitch.com/videos

   Need a handywoman?
http://www.lesbianbuilder.com

   Polar bear babies:
http://www.nuernberg.de/internet/eisbaer/videos.html

   Buy a birthday suit:
http://themightysven.carbonmade.com/projects/37941#11

   When did Rachel Stevens turn into Stifler's mom?
http://www.thefirstpost.co.uk/index.php?storyID=12449&p=6

   How’s my Skiing, How’s my Drumming and
   How’s my Diet t-shirts:
http://www.teemarto.com

   And the Oscar for Best Achievement in
   Suicide goes to...? It's Oscars betting
   time. Odds, rumours, tips:
http://www.popbet.com


    >> Chart Predictions <<
    New entries/High climbers Sun 27th January

++ Number One
ADELE Chasing Pavements


++ Top Twenty
KELLY ROWLAND Work It
ALICIA KEYS No One
JAY SEAN Ride It


     >> End Bit <<
     Stuff about Popbitch

* Email stories, gossip:
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* We put a dodgy link in last week, so if you
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and win five grand, here's your chance:
http://www.vistobrahma.com


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Thanks to: AM, SW, WB, PM, RS, SC, NS, Soe, MBW, SM
LT, E, N, S, dollymixture, intheissynoho, MTB,
*****************************************************


Old Jokes Home:
I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.
Got a call centre in Pakistan .
I told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I
could drive a truck.

Still Bored:
Stalin World. The only theme park where you can
be interrogated by KGB:
http://www.grutoparkas.lt/index-en.htm