PopBitch - Cash For Killing

"I'm like a bingo caller, they nail me to the cross
every night." - Marco Pierre White

"I do tears. I've got God's shoulder to
cry on." - George W Bush
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POPBITCH           _     _ _
_ __   ___  _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_|         |_|   06.09.07 ISSUE 365
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to http://www.popbitch.com

* RIP Pavarotti: a popbitch tribute
* Steve Coogan: 24 Hour Party Pooper
* Charts: Sean Kingston is number one
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        >> The secret of his success <<
        Dax shows his shepherd's flock

    Owen Wilson may have another reason to
    slit his wrists. Owen's ex, Kate Hudson,
    is currently snuggling up to second-rate
    comic Dax Shepard, who made his name doing
    Punk'd with Ashton Kutcher. So what's the
    attraction? Well, Dax is known for being
    "hung like a grandfather clock". Whenever
    Dax and Ashton used to go out drinking together
    Kutcher would make Dax pull his dick
    out and wave it around because he was
    so amused at seeing a wang "as thick
    as a coke can".


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Sophie Dahl and Jamie Cullum: the new Krankies.
(Just check out the GQ Awards photos).
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        >> 24 Hour Party Pooper <<
        Steve Coogan turns back on Tony Wilson
 
    Steve Coogan played Tony Wilson in the film
    24 Hour Party People. Not unsurprisingly, he
    turned up in the papers after Wilson's death
    saying how much it had affected him. Shame
    Wilson's life hadn't affected him as much.

    Earlier in the summer a group of Wilson's
    friends started a fund to raise money to buy the
    experimental cancer drug which was his
    last hope. Many of the bands he'd worked
    with, like Happy Mondays, happily contributed.
    They asked Steve Coogan to donate. He refused.
    (Which is surprising as people say he didn't seem
    to mind buying drugs for Owen Wilson...)


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GQ awards: Kanye West "has very dry hands", Steven
Merchant "punching way above his weight with really
hot girlfriend", Simon Pegg "not very approachable".
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        >> Big Questions <<
        What people want to know this week

    Which award-winning US TV actor did a
    fashion shoot in an LA hotel and, when greeted
    and thanked by the famous designer, took one
    look around the suite and sneered "my
    cock's larger than this hotel room"? So not
    much different to his on-screen image, then.

    Which imaginative 80s pop star found his niche
    making porn movies and has a book out called
    Confessions of an Accidental Porn Director?


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Spot Lucy Pinder in the hot new music video for Rush:
http://tinyurl.com/35cow2
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        >> Larger than life <<
        Remembering a legend in happier times

    RIP Pavarotti. We recall a story we wrote about  
    him in 2003. While rehearsing for his farewell
    performance at Covent Garden, Pavarotti sloped
    off to his dressing room with two female dancers.
    And was discovered a little later, by the
    runner sent to retrieve him, enjoying
    oral sex from one, while the other held his
    stomach out of the way.


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Spotted at the Sonic Youth gig - Clement Freud.
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        >> Pet Idol <<
        Newsworthy animals of the week

    1. Cocaine cat
    A cat in Sydney had trouble walking, paced
    incessantly and had dilated pupils. When the
    vet saw the cat was "too anxious to have a
    thermometer inserted into his rectum" he
    suspected cocaine abuse. The cat had snarfed
    his owner's stash.

    2. Horny camel
    A 60 year-old animal lover in Queensland was
    given a pet camel as a birthday present by friends.
    Sadly, a few months later, the big and
    boisterous camel killed his owner trying
    to shag her.

    3. Bees
    US scientists are training bees to sniff out
    explosives. They are, apparently, to be carried in
    shoe-box size hand-held detectors around airports.

    4. Goats
    In Nepal airline staff sacrificed two goats in front
    of a Boeing 757, which has had technical problems,
    in case a Hindu God had accidentally been angered.

    5. Weasel
    President Putin. Last week Russian investigators
    announced they were arresting some regime opponents
    for the murder of Anna Politovskaya. The case
    collapsed when two of the men were released through
    lack of evidence and a third had a good alibi -
    he was in prison at the time.


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The curse of Paris Hilton strikes again... Steve
Fossett has disappeared in a plane belonging
to the Hilton family.
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        >> Adelicious <<
       Lily and Amy, move over

    Popbitch (hearts) pop music. It can make
    your whole world turn on its head in just three
    minutes. This happened this morning when we
    put on the forthcoming single by Adele.

    Adele Adkins is a 19 year-old Londoner who,
    is thankfully closer in sound to Amy Winehouse
    than Kate Nash. Hometown Glory is a
    beautiful self-penned ballad. Her voice
    breaks your heart but makes you feel
    all warm inside.

Listen to a live version of Hometown Glory:
http://www.myspace.com/adelelondon


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Popbitch's favourite hotel receptionist: Bastardo
Edgar, Hotel Punta Palma, Venezuela.
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        >> Double trouble <<
        Samanda head for obscurity

    The Big Brother twins have signed up with
    Charlotte Church's former manager, Jonathan
    Shalit. They might regret after the press
    release his company put out to announce it,
    which we've copied word for word below.
    If only they could read.

    ------ Forwarded Message
    From: Jonathan
    Conversation: Samantha and Amanda fror Big
    Brother aka 'The Twins'
    Subject: Samantha and Amanda fror Big Brother
    aka 'The Twins'

    Their sweet
    ........Their Lovely
    ................Their Adorable
                     ...Their joined at the hip

    And speak in stereo...Welcome to SAMANDA
    World....and We represent them...


    Also:                                             
    Andrew Castle...Charley...Dane Bowers...Ian 'H'   
    Watkins...Jamelia...Javine...Jonathan Ansell...
    Konnie Huq...Myleene Klass...Nina Myskow.

   

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Gruesome Twosome: how much does PJ Harvey's new
track, The Devil, sound like Amy Winehouse's
Back to Black?
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        >> Gak attack! <<
        Lisa feels it in all the right places

    We haven't heard much from Lisa Stansfield
    for a while. She was in Soho's Colony Rooms
    recently. On returning from a visit to the
    bathroom she announced to the people at the
    bar, "That coke is making my fanny itch".


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Bestiality is legal in Belgium, Cambodia, Denmark,
Finland, Germany, Mexico, The Netherlands, Norway,
Sweden and several US states.
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        > So Kwari, so goodie <<
        Cash for killing goes legit

    Online skills-based gambling is about to
    blow up. Kwari is a first-person shoot-em-up
    where you win cash for killing your
    opponents. You buy ammo from Kwari (a fiver
    for 5000 rounds) who act as a virtual arms
    dealer. After that you make money every time
    you hit someone, and you lose part of your stake
    when an opponent hits you. And the best bit is
    that the pounding rock soundtrack gets louder
    and louder the closer you get to your opponents.

http://www.kwari.com/


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Second Life is being terrorised by groups called
griefers, who invade buildings with flying penises.
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        >> Things that make you go hmmm <<
        Daft Punk, Conservapedia, P Diddy

    When Britney ruled the world her songwriters
    were Swedish. Now she's just "well, it's not
    as bad as I was expecting." So instead listen
    to some nice Swedes who've written about her:
http://www.myspace.com/imfrombarcelona

    The religious right have discovered wiki:
http://www.conservapedia.com/Main_Page

    What's P Diddy doing in DC10, Ibiza:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=3pB6Y2WYZps

    Popbitch's favourite coffee bar:
http://gakscoffeehouse.com/

    Daft Punk hands:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2cYWfq--Nw

    "Goodbye cool world". Celebrity
    suicide bets:
http://www.popbet.com


       >> Chart Predictions <<
       New entries/High climbers Sun 9th September

++ Number One
SEAN KINGSTON Beautiful Girls

++ Top Ten
GIRLS ALOUD Sexy No Nos
JAMES BLUNT 1973
ELVIS PRESLEY Teddy Bear

++ Top Twenty
SCOUTING FOR GIRLS She's So Lovely
EDITORS An End Has A Start

++ Top Forty
REVEREND & THE MAKERS He Said He Loved Me
SIOUXSIE Into A Swan



        >> End Bit <<
        Help Popbitch!

* Email stories, gossip:
hello@popbitch.com

* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.

* Web hosting by: http://del.co.uk

* Mail by aysabtu


*****************************************************
Thanks to: AM, SW, dollymixture, WB, fatlimey, AG
P, RS, fd, JB, deep_stoat, Mixxxxer99, danceswith
mustelids, CS, GG, s, party_b, deep_stoat, Bored
Roadie, catfight, CF, pauline

* Thanks to Moet & Chandon for the delicious
boxes of champagne:
http://www.moet.com/

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Old Jokes Home: =
An angry wife met her husband at the door.
There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on
his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there
is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in
here at six o'clock in the morning?"

"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."


Still Bored?
Last week was Pet Fashion Week in NYC:
http://www.petfashionweek.com/petfashionweek.mov