Thursday, August 23, 2007

Popbitch Summer Madness

"I feel like the asshole, the idiot, because I feel
like I'm distracting from the other things that
are important, like global warming and that kind
of stuff" -Lindsay Lohan


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|_| |_| 23.08.07 ISSUE 363

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>> Summer Madness <<

Popbitch has taken its bucket and spade and gone
to the seaside. But we've left behind some silly
things to help through the office afternoon.

Next week, back to normal.


>> 1. Music <<

Remember that band you'd never heard of suing
Avril Lavigne for ripping them off with her
song Girlfriend? Have a listen. And see if you
think Rolling Stones should think of suing
them instead for copying Get Off Of My Cloud.


>> 2. Joke <<

Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I've got problems
with my hearing.
Dr "What are the symptoms?"
Patient: "They're those yellow people on TV."


>> 3. Bad joke <<

"I got stung by a bee yesterday.
£20 for a jar of honey? Outrageous."


>> 4. Old Joke <<

Q: What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out
your underpants?
A: Your mother.


>> 5. Football Shoes <<

There's a charity shop in Chelsea with one
of London's biggest and best Jimmy Choo shoe
collections. It's very close to the house
Frank Lampard and his missus, Elen Rives, live
in. When Fat Frank and Elen have a fight, or
he gets caught with another lady, Elen drives
to the shop with piles of clothes, shoes and
jewellery that he'd bought her and dumps it.
Then they make up with Frank buying a new
wardrobe of stuff... which then find their
way to the shop in the next row. And on and on.


>> 6. History <<

Otters - they've always been news.

From the Venerable Bede's Life of St Cuthbert
of Lindisfarne, 721 AD.

"One bitter night in winter as Cuthbert knelt
thus in the snow after his plunge, blue with
cold, two brown otters came up out of the sea
and stole to Cuthbert's side. And as he
prayed, not noticing them at all, they licked
his poor frozen feet, trying to warm them,
and rubbed against him with their thick, soft
fur till he was dry again. Thus the water-
creatures did their little best for him who
loved them and who had done so much for others."


>> 7. Pandas <<

2008 is Beijing Olympics year. We predict
pandas will be bigger than otters.

The best fact to know about pandas is that
to mark its territory, a panda does a
hand-stand beside his favourite tree,
and pisses upwards, on to the tree, as
high as he can.

Cute baby pandas:

Panda song:


>> 8. Ice Cream <<

The best ice-cream we've ever had in London
is the Italian homemade stuff at the Lord
Nelson pub, 243 Union St, London SE1.
(Between Tate Modern and Waterloo station)
Go in August, say "popbitch" and get two
for the price of one (the pistachio rocks).


>> 9. TV <<

We've enjoyed Britain's Next Top Model much
more than Big Brother this summer. It's
nine down, three to go... See who wins on

Have a big gay bet on the Eurovision Dance Contest:


>> 10. T shirts <<

Treat yourself. Extraordinary t-shirts
on sale now:


>> 11. Theatre <<

See Chatroom & Citizenship at the National Theatre
for just £15. Quote "popbitch" on 020 7452 3000
valid until 13 September for all performances.
Subject to availability.


>> 12. Screening <<

US No.1 comedy Superbad is out September 14th
but you can see it for free before anyone else.


>> End Bit <<


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>> And finally <<

Thanks, part one, to our charity cricket
sponsors, who helped us raise a lot of money
for Great Ormond St Hospital:

All Star Lanes - the UK's first boutique
bowling venue, 6 lanes, cocktails, and diner.

Artesian FIJI Water is first choice
of chefs and celebrities. Get it from
Waitrose, or from a VIP room near you.

RetroFest - "The biggest 80s line up since
Live Aid"

Tangerine Fields - on site accommodation
and comfort at music and sports events
in the UK.

Make your own origami trainers on this
cool little site:

PA hire from:

Kettle Chips - now with four new flavours,
including Roast Chicken. All natural
ingredients, with no artificial additives.

And Nordic Bar, Danny Israel, Endemol, Cheese
@ Leadenhall, Abaco, Hackney Empire, Fiji Water,
Rubicon Juices, Kettle Chips, masseuse Jill Haliday,
Kajagoogoo, Dermalogica, Eclectic, Yalumba and
all of Planet of the Grapes' wine suppliers.

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