Popbitch latest

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They think it's all over... it isn't. Could Brian
upset the Twins and make you money?
http://sports.betfair.com/?mi=20487982&rfr=3938
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"It's not every day that a circus dwarf with a Hoover
attached to his penis gets in the car with you," -
the manager of Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf.
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|_|         |_|   30.08.07 ISSUE 364
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go to http://www.popbitch.com

* Calvin Harris - no fan of GMTV
* Sheryl Crowe - Black Widow
* Charts: Sean Kingston is number one
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        >> A life depressive <<
        Owen Wilson takes a time-out

    We reported back in November 2004, to the
    consternation of his scary Hollywood lawyers,
    that Owen Wilson might not be entirely
    unfamiliar with hard drugs. It's somewhat
    surprising that everyone seems to have fallen
    hook, line and sinker for Courtney Love's guff
    that it's all Steve Coogan's fault. Coogan may
    be an unpleasant drug pig but this smacks only
    of Love finally getting her revenge after the
    humiliation of being dumped by Alan Partridge.
    A rich, ageing celebrity bachelor with an
    entourage of yes men to get him whatever he
    wants and a stint in rehab for depression
    already behind him - it's likely that Wilson
    didn't need much encouragement.
   

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LA insiders say that Jennifer Lopez is about
to announce that she is pregnant with twins. 
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        >> The Black Widow<<
        Sheryl Crow's cold hand of fate

    Perhaps Owen Wilson's real problem was to
    get involved with Sheryl Crow? Because Sheryl
    is the Black Widow, The Angel of Death.
    Sheryl and Owen dated at the turn of the
    century. Only seven years later Owen's
    life is in disarray. Join the club, mate.

    * Ex-boyfriend Kevin Gilbert - died from
    autoerotic asphyxiation.
    * Ex-boyfriend Lance Armstrong - testicular
    cancer.
    * Crow had a hit with Leaving Las Vegas,
    based on a book by John O'Brien, who
    committed suicide soon after its release.
    * Ex-boyfriend Kid Rock - has Paris Hilton
    sniffing around him now.
    * She was Jacko's backing singer.
    Need we say more?


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Tony Wilson was buried in a coffin numbered FAC 501.
Factory's last catalogue number.
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        >> Big Questions <<
        What people want to know this week

    This Hollywood heart-throb was abusing his
    Faculties this week in Hong Kong club Dragon
    I, where he enjoyed several lines of cocaine.
    Fellow clubbers said he was "very
    nice and chilled".

    You can take the factory out of the girl... but
    which star enjoyed Ibiza so much this week that
    they were asking every other clubber for pills?


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Organic farmer Alex James spotted in Old Compton St,
Soho, chomping on a large, suspiciously unorganic
croissant from high street coffee chain Cafe Nero.
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        >> To Hull and back <<
        Celebrity political dynasties

    John Prescott is standing down at the next
    election. His son David fancies taking over
    his seat, which can't be bad, as David
    appears to be a chip off the old block.
    Friends say he claims to have slept with the
    Sun's Victoria Newton and enjoys a platinum
    card at Stringfellows strip club.

    And apparently Prescott Junior fell out with
    one of best mates after confessing that he
    liked to think about his mate's wife when
    he was knocking one out.


*****************************************************
Fit bodies, smooth moves and pink outfits. It can
only be the Pot Noodle workout! Join in and get 12
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        >> Confessions of an 80s pop fan <<
        Duran beats Spandau, that much is true

7zark7 writes:
    "Back in the 80s, my big sister was a hardcore
    Duran Duran fan. She was walking home from school
    with her friends, in Blackheath, when a big fat
    Rolls Royce pulls up. The window winds down:
    'Hello girls, can you help me with some
    directions?' It was Tony Hadley of Spandau
    Ballet . Without hesitation, my sister said
    'Fuck off you wanker, your band's shit'

    "Hadley drove off. that much is true."


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My Bloody Valentine fans are getting excited about
a possible comeback next year at Coachella.
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        >> Back to brown <<
        Amy searches for her next hit

    They tried to make her go to rehab, and she
    said no, yes, no, yes, maybe, no. Poor Amy
    Winehouse. When she was promoting her first
    album only three years ago Amy refused all
    the class A drugs offered to her, relying
    just on booze and weed. Then she fell in
    love with drug-loving Blake Fielder-Civil
    and everything changed. Her competitive,
    feminist instincts dug in and she's
    spent the last months trying to outdo
    her paramour's crack and heroin habits.
    Not helped by the fact that someone on
    her payroll, who should really be trying
    to protect her, is secretly scoring drugs
    for the pair to stop her from sacking him.


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Erica Roe, of Twickenham streaking fame, 1982,
is now married and living in Portugal, where she
grows sweet potatoes for export.
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        >> Oliver's Travels <<
        Jamie's Transatlantic troubles

D writes:
    "Fly transatlantic on MaxJet, a plane which
    ONLY offers business class? It's the kind of
    thing Jamie Oliver *might* do in secret if he
    didn't want his fellow Stop Stansted
    anti-airport campaigners to know..."

FYI: Jamie Oliver's absconded from prison:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/suffolk/6969184.stm


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Joss Whedon's long awaited UK based Buffy spin-off,
Ripper, starring Anthony Head, starts filming next
summer for BBC.
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        >> Acceptable in the 80s? <<
       Calvin Harris says what he thinks

    Calvin Harris has been slated in the press for
    his stunt to find the best house party in
    Britain. This is Calvin's amusing message
    internally to his record company, Sony BMG,
    about the furore:

    "Yesterday was pretty funny really, was on the
    BBC news for being an alleged 'hate figure for
    parents' because apparently I am encouraging
    you all to trash your mum's house...!

    "GMTV wanted me to go on this morning to answer
    various probing mumsy questions but the label
    thought it would be a bad idea as I would be
    unable to cope with Ben Shepard's tough line
    of questioning, which is a shame as that would
    have been a life ambition fulfilled."
    Calvin x."


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Help the Aged's press spokesman is called Joe Oldman.
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        >> Summer camp <<
        Meet Argentina's Alcazar

    We miss the summer holiday novelty hits of
    yore! Sabrina, Black Box, Eiffel 65,
    Las Ketchup - all brightened up the dog
    days on returning to work. Here's Argentinian
    band, Miranda! Their new track Prisionero
    is all over radio and TV in South America,
    and features Pet Shop Boys synths, I Feel
    Love bassline and an atrium of gayness.

http://www.popbitch.com/videos


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Toni Collette spotted in Ikea "wearing a stripy
sweater dress and black Ugg boots, and dancing in the
aisles to Kylie Minogue's Come Into My world.
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        >> Things that make you go hmmm <<
        Mormon rap, pandas, colon cleansing

    And it turns up to 11:
http://techdigest.tv/2007/08/got_space_in_yo.html

    Philip Glenister from Life on Mars makes it
    onto some t-shirts at:
http://www.teemarto.com

    World's biggest tumour?
http://www.reuters.com/news/video/videoStory?videoId=64240

    Otter bath:
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=24837

    Crunch crunch he's gone! Get your last days
    of Bush merchandise now:
http://bushslastday.com/

    Other people's colon cleansing kit:
http://www.blessedherbs.com/photos2i.html

    How to do sabrage:
http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-open-a-bottle-of-champagne-with-a-sword

    Mormon rap:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TeV8yp8ALM&NR=1

    Dirty-wrong in Paris, gun-fights in Alicante,
    crotchless trousers in Austria as Ian and Dawn
    look for their sperm-donation siblings:
http://snipr.com/joneses_pb

    Cute pandas:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDvzOLRLjPc


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Didn't catch the new series of The IT Crowd on
Friday night? Watch the latest episode online for
free with 4 on Demand:
http://www.channel4.com/4od?cntsrc=4od_popbitch_itcrowd
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       >> Chart Predictions <<
       New entries/High climbers Sun 2nd September

++ Number One
SEAN KINGSTON Beautiful Girls

++ Top Ten
ELVIS PRESLEY Hound Dog
RIHANNA Shut Up And Drive

++ Top Twenty
FREAKS The Creeps (Get On The Dancefloor)
KT TUNSTALL Hold On

++ Top Forty
NATELIE IMBRULIA Glorious
SCOUTING FOR GIRLS She's So Lovely
THE TWANG Two Lovers
MAROON 5 Wake Up Call


        >> End Bit <<
        Help Popbitch!

* Email stories, gossip:
hello@popbitch.com

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* Mail by aysabtu


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Thanks to: AM, SW, dollymixture, WB, fatlimey, JO,
OC, HL, SW, LA, honk, wulf, richjohnson, am, mp,
elpresidente, onthehushhush, te, sw, tmv, kidvampire
*
* Thanks to the Strongbow Cider House for V tickets
* To Vodafone Live Music Awards for Kanye West tickets
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Old Jokes Home:
Q. Why does caviar never end well?
A. Because it's a fishes cycle.

Old Jacko Jokes Home:
Q: Why is Michael Jackson like caviar?
A: Both come on little white crackers.


Still Bored?
The coolest robot in the world:
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Watch him dance:
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